Thursday, July 19, 2012

7 years ago

Every year, I wake up in the morning of July 19th and I feel a mystical cloud covering my existence.

In a day like today 7 years I got to meet my very first love in person. I was so young and I had adrenaline running in my veins instead of blood as I went to see him. I dont know why I have not mentioned this in my blog before, but today as I thought about it I felt like it was a day that marked my transition from a ''young girl'' to a ''woman''.

Today a dear friend - yet new friend- said that it was not cool at all that she knows nothing about my first love. Later, a page on facebook asked its followers to post a song that reminds them of someone so I remembered this song.

My first love is long gone now, we were not ever destined to have more than what we had. I even think that it was me who loved him , but he just observed me with huge interest. After all I was a very promising 15 year old whose eyes twinkled with poetry and music and long discussions about Marx and communism!

It was the best first love that any little girl would ever dream about. I would have never been the same person if it was not for those alluring 6 months. He was not a young guy with an attractive complexion , no , he was a tormented young man with a lot of questions , and with a huge existential mess caused by all the books that he has read.

I know nothing about him now, and sometimes I feel that I have grown up to being him , but I survived. I am still young and green inside. I know nothing about him , and I know that it is not about him anymore. I believe that life is just like a Tv series directed by God. In that season he was the main actor, but now the series is more of a monologue , where I speak what I believe , where I revise my set of values twice a day , and where my own self scares me rather often. Yet It's fun to be me , and it is amazing to go discovering my inner world each and everyday.

All thanks are due to God for granting me those enjoyable episodes in the amazing roller coaster of life. 

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