Friday, December 31, 2010

The Best thing I ever paid money on

Buying the E-book was a very great step. I saw it in the show window in Carrefour almost three times before i finally said: What the hell I am buying it.

I was afraid that it would be one addition to my ''Technological Trash'' Collection ... you know the bunch of electronic stuff you buy and then you stop using after a couple of weeks?
So I took it home and kept the receipt in case I wanted to return it , but each time I took a round in the book that was already downloaded on it I was so amazed and weirdly happy!!

I downloaded on it all the books that I downloaded throughout the years from 4shared but never really read anything from them , and when I found myself reading on the bus I was like: "Praise the Lord!!'' ..I am finally reading any book that comes to my mind , paying nothing more that what I paid on the e-book.

I just stand in front of book shops show window and copy the names of the books ang do home and actually read them. It is light but bares a load of books that weighs hundreds of kilos - this is how a person thinks after travelling a couple of times with a bag loaded with pales of books-.

Now I feel that I lost my only shopping addition: Shopping for books , but is not it easier anyway?

I feel a bit sorry for the paper books and I love them and I will always be loyal to them , but this one is cheaper and times DO change. :(

Check this out:

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Why it feels so great around the house :p

So I have not mentioned my apartment for a long time here. It was a great experience , with its ups and downs -naturally- but I never mentioned my Italian cleaning freak roommate.

I did not fight with anyone in this apartment except for her because with her I lost my nerves many times. She is a kind , warm hearted person , she means well but has a very irritating voice tune and intonation specially when she points out an unpolished spot on the ground or the furniture.

She is a cleaning freak -an idea supported by the other roommates and guests- and because of her nagging I skipped all my cleaning turns , relying on her re-doing all what we do. Re-doing the dishes , re-mopping the ground and re-cleaning the kitchen.

So this week she is away in Italia celebrating Christmas with her family , and although its mean to say so , but I am so happy , I come home clear minded relaxed and worrying about the bickering she puts me through and the guilt she makes me feel when I leave an unwashed plate for the morning.

About selfish decisions

There are decisions that dont only affect those who make them , but also the people in their lives.
Recently I was treated like trash by a very dear friend of mine, I dont really know why, I even started questioning my feelings towards her and if she has in my heart the place I think she has, but as long as I am writing a post about it in my blog , then I think its important.

Sometimes I think that if she does not wanna talk then I dont wanna talk too , but I hate it when others decide for me. You cant just come to my life , stick around for 3 wonderful years and then leave for no reason , its just not your right , not your call , and am not gonna allow it.

Friendship is not a ball we toss around , its a series of ups and downs and as we enjoyed its ups we should also hold longer in the face of its downs. Maybe I dont care or love as I thought I love and care about her, but who ever said that relationships - any type of human relationships- are based on love? there are other things included ,,, something like the ridiculous amount of time we spent together , and all the smiling pictures we took , and the times we laughed together.

So if you wanna cross me off your list then you should talk to me. You should explain it and then decide and act on what you decide , but this coward ''break up'' does not work for me. Not at all!

24 rosas

I first heard this song in Konya -My Turkish/Arabs/Immigrants restaurant- there was not any customers except for me and it was blurring in the empty place...Diana Navarros Voice has a presence that you can almost see!! The tune is almost arabic and the pain ,, the feeling and the depth ,,, I just love it.


Vivo sin vivir en mí

y tan viva yo te espero,

que muero porque no muero.

Toma, yo te doy mi corazón,

te lo entrego prisionero.

No quiero querer,

pero quiero y te quiero

Veinticuatro rosas heridas de ti

¡Es tan dulce el amor que te doy

Son veinticuatro latidos de más

cuando sé que te vas

cruzando el espacio, despacio.

¡Ay, ay amor cómo me picas!

Esos ojos me complican

y me muero sin saber que muero.

Toma, yo te doy mi corazón,

te lo entrego prisionero.

No quiero querer,

pero quiero y te quiero.

7 Vidas and God: Surprising episode :)

In the link above you can watch episode 7 of season 2 from my favorite Spanish Tv Show ''7 vidas'' ....
I am posting it here because it was so different and it talked about a topic that has never been displayed in this specific way in all the Spanish Tv that i have watched ( I watch a lot: Talk shows , news , Series , Soap Operas , cooking shows and even real Tv!).

The topic of God , or believing had always been one of the most funny topic in Spanish Tv. Its usually used in a mocking contest , that even me , being the believer that I am , it still makes me laugh!!!

They are always making fun of Church , of the Pope , of The Vatican , of praying , of prayers of believers , that it reached a point in which I no longer paid any more attention to it.

In "7 vidas" there is that character "Soledad" who is an old lady known for her strong character, her adventurous life, her rebel personality and of course her disbelief in God or any superior power.

In this episode a friend of Soledads dies ,and she starts thinking about death , how she is getting closer to it and that she will eventually reach the point in which she will if knowthere had been a God or not. She goes to church and goes on and on and on with the priest asking him questions that drives him crazy and then she decides to figure it out on her own. The surprising thing is that she at the end of the episode says that she started liking God!!

I never expected that from a Spanish media production!!! I watched a couple of episodes later and they did not talk any further about it ,, but who knows what happens next :)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Planning for Madrid:OMG

My friends and I actually started planning for our longly awaited trip to Madrid.

This is so big .. so big to me!!! I have passed through Madrid when I came back from Barcelona, but I only saw a bus stop and a couple of buses hehehe ,,, I have been to Spain two times , all in all I spent in Spain 8 months and yet I have not been to the capital and I have a lot of thoughts running in my mind all the time.

I posted a picture of Las Cibeles de Madrid ... a very ''post me I am touristic'' kind of picture , and if traveling has taught me a thing then it taught me that the ''postcard worthy'' monuments are not always the thing that stick to a travelers memory. So for now , tis picture will do it , but when I come back you never know what the picture would be , nor what would be the ''Image''.

Two Days at Home

For the last two days I have not been out. I dont know how it is on the street. I got my roommate Rasha to get me a sandwich yesterday , and today she cooked with Lubna. I spent the entire two days on the couch knitting a scarf and watching T.v and of course blowing my nose , coughing and falling in some horrible naps from which I wake up because I am suffocating.

Maybe there is not much people like me , but I enjoy having a cold and sitting around doing things with my hand not at all with m mind.

But still , I look at my monthly Bus Bono and feel like I lost two days of being ''out there'' so enshall tomorrow I wil dedicate my time to wandering around bus stops and reading in the bus trip.

Wish me Luck :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Deep Breath

Do you remember this?

well the other day I was still going with my house hunt - that seems endless!- and I found this ad

and as I scroll down I found out that its the same house that I could not get because I arrived late. Now its back on the market and I contacted the advertiser and he got back to me - after 5 long days- and gave me a phone number , I called him and we set a date.

I went to the house 15 minutes earlier than the date, and the guy - his name is chemi- showed me around the house.

I was so overwhelmed that I forgot to take pictures. The house is a three floors big house that over looks Arco Elvira, the first two floors are occupied by the chemi -the owner of the house- his wife and little charming daughter Alegria -spanish for ''happiness''- and the third floor has three rooms , a kitchen - an american bar! I dont like that but anyways- a bathroom and a patio full of plants , a garden with a table and seats over looking Arco Elvira and the lower part of Albayzin neighborhood. My room - supposedly- has a bed and a built in closet and an underground heating!

Then we sat down to talk , and he said stuff about the roommates ,, he pointed out that they love to share and cook and that I will have to be helpful with them , and he said: This is not a students apartment , this is a house where people share their life!! I could not be more stunned!! I told him about my experience in the ''spanish student apartment'' and how impolite things were around there on terms of sharing a life. I told him that i am a language student and all what I want is talk and gain the language. I told him I wanna mix with his family and friends and he was welcoming.

The thing is - there is always a thing and a but- that the girls want to meet me before accepting me, which is so rational of course , but this only means that I have to wait for them to come back from their family houses after the holidays and then we could see if this is gonna work out or not.

I dont know ,,, I loved the place although I am a little cautious ,,, I dont want to get my hopes high and then get my heart broken again!

I just hope that the best will happen ,,, enshalla

Monday, December 27, 2010

In a day like today last year

In a day like today last year I fulfilled a lifetime dream and actually went and see the mosque of Cordoba.

Many things have changed inside me ever since. Mainly about ''Islam Marketing''.
Maybe then I did not see it as ''Marketing'' but now I do , and to make the best publicity I am doing a lot of reading and listening and almost nothing of talking.

My Islam needs me , but in the smartest and the wisest means.

Happy December 27th :)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Catalonia: Is it the destination?

Before, a metro plan used to freak me out. I dont know , I always thought that the metro is an evil place where people want to rob me. And looking - only looking - at a metro map made feel lost already. But when I went to Barcelona something major changed inside me , Its just like what they say in an ad on the bus stops ''hay paises que engrandecen el alma'' >>> There are countries that enlarge the soul. And so was Barcelona to me.

I have not talked much about for reasons I have explained in an earlier post , but ever since I came back I have felt so good, so strong and capable of anything. I think to myself: If I could find my way in Barcelona's Metro then I can do anything.

And so I started to search for Master programs in Barcelona and I came across this program:

Its a translation and cultural mediation program that lasts for one year in La Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona.

I sent it to my Profesor in Jordan , Dr.Hussein and he said ''its magnificent'' and I talked about it with my mother -although she is the biggest fan of Granada- but she loved it immediately.

There is a text I wrote in Arabic in my notebook about why I DO NOT WANT TO study master in Granada , enshalla I will post it here soon ... I just feel great about it , although it needs a lot of money and a lot of hard work but I am ready for it. I am even ready to learn Catalan in no time and become one of so few Arabic/Spanish/English/Catalan translators.

Look at me in this picture ... dont I just fit in!!!
Metro de Barcelona

A problem of a lonely child

Lubna , Rasha and I had been having continuous sleep overs for more than 5 nights. We would bring our beds close and sleep the three of us after spending hours of talking and laughing. Then the next day we would be hanging out in the center , go back to Lubna´s place for a cup of tea and end up sleeping there.

We got so used to being around each other. I feel an uneasy thingy when we are separated. I would look for time to go sit in the bar and talk to the waiters like I always do , read the paper , read a book in Spanish or write something in my notebook , but with us being the tribe of penguins we are I just feel its hard to ''take off''.

This has been interrupted with the Navidad arrangements , each one of us is invited to a different place and the chain of sleep overs is breaking , but this is not the first time in which I get so used to having company around me in a way that stops me from doing my things.

I always thought about it as a ''lonely child'' thing. Being a lonely child I have always been clingy to the friends or the family that would stay over,,, you know , the people who would hang around just like sisters do.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh .... I think , I just wish , enshalla I will have a lot of sons and daughters of my own , that we will be having a big family sleeping over ALWAYS!!

Why I never Brush my Teeth?

Today I finished my toothpaste tube. I have been in this country for 4 months now!! Yes I have, and I only went through one tube ... this is a shameful thing about myself but what shall I do? Ever since I was a child I hated brushing my teeth , sometimes I would not say good night to my parents so they wont have the chance to ask about my teeth brushing!!

I always say: Well this time is different and i will be so responsible starting from NOW

So NOW I start ,, lets just hope

Cena de Navidad

Tonight I went to Christmas dinner at my friends Farah house. They picked me up from Paseo del Salon and I went there where I got to meet her family , the cat , the two dogs and the house.
We had a good dinner and we talked and laughed , I was so happy to see Pilar again after all that time , and I talked with her about Barcelona.
She told me stuff in Catalan and asked me about my plans for the coming years.
Two weird things happened tonight:
one: Sometimes - although I am in Spain- but hen I leave my house and my circle of friends and mix with an actual Spanish audience I feel surprised!!! My voice in Spanish surprises and the flood of words that I am capable of letting go out of my mouth is just astonishing!! When I think about I just feel like am looking at a miracle, that my mind is capable of decoding all the signs of a foreign linguistic system and merge into it ... and also makes me realize how few I hang out with Spanish people while I am in SPAIN for Gods sake.

Second: Farahs mom was so kind to me and I really loved her , but knowing that she was a Muslim for 4 years and being today in her house for a Christian celebration is just weird. You know , I just wonder how would somebody try Islam and bale ... bale and go back to being agnostic not even going back to being a religious Christian ,, you know what I mean? I am not judging her or something but its something that cant be discussed in a Christmas dinner table.

All in all I had a blast and Yes , Christmas time is a time of miracles .... No one is left alone

Thursday, December 23, 2010

علبة التبغ... حنا مينة

مضى وقت طويل منذ آخر مرة تمكنت فيها من إتمام نص مكتوب حتى نهايته. كثيرة هي الكتب التي رميتها من منتصفها لأن شيئا فيها أو فيّ قد غاب و أخذ معه كل رغبة في القراءة ، كتلك الموجات من طفوتي التي كنت أغرق فيها مع الكتب حتى قراقيط أذني.

منذ اشتريت الكتاب الألكتروني و أنا أقرأ كثيرا ، في الحافلة بالذات و بينما آكل .. أستبدل ساعات هراء الكوميديا الأمريكية ببضعة أسطر قيّمة و ها أنا اليوم أدون هنا - بشيء من اعتزاز خجول- بأنني اتممت قراءة أول كتاب إلكتروني لي ، و هو علبة التبغ من تأليف حنا مينة.

هي قصة طويلة من 37 صفحة ، تحكي عن صحفي سوري ملاحق بمضي نهاراته في غرفة ضئيلة مستأجرة على سطح عمارة في بيروت. تتحرك كل الأحداث في مربع واحد و مع ذك يوجد في الصفحات السبع و الثلاثين الكثير من الفكر و التأمل و مراقبة الغرباء و استقاء الأمل منهم ... بالصبط كما هو حالي هنا.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My Andaluz Accent: A fixed fact so just live with it

Yo nunca perdí el acento,
mi viejo acento del Sur,
y aunque muy lejos me encuentro
hablo y pienso en andaluz
porque me sale de dentro.

Déjame hablar como quiera,
que me exprese a mi manera
lo mismo que lo haces tú;
habla tú como prefieras
que yo hablaré en andaluz.

El nombre de Andalucía
tiene en mi pecho un altar
y una pasión encendía
que no podrás apagar
porque esa tierra es la mía.

Tu tierra me dio cobijo
cuando del Sur me alejé,
luego el destino bendijo
que fuese mía también
cuando nacieron mis hijos.

Mi acento es de Andalucía
y no lo pienso cambiar
porque a la vez cambiaría
mis señas de identidad,
mi vieja filosofía.

So ... How do I put this in a way that does not show how pissed I am?

Ok , I am a foreigner in Spain , but when I first came to this country , the first land that I stepped on was the land of Granada , I speak as the people of this city speak. It is not only that I got it automatically but I mean to speak using it, I love it , I love how it sounds , Something in my heart melts when I speak with it , when I hear myself and when I hear others using it.

When I started learning Spanish I watched a TV series that taught me half of what I know in the language, there were several characters from Madrid and one character from Sevilla ,,, She spoke the accent of Andalucia and I liked it so I picked it.

I picked it and it picked me and this is the way it is. Dear northern friends: I dont care when you say I sound latina , or when you laugh at me when I talk ,,, I dont really care , I just love it and love how connected to my Granada I feel when I speak this way ,,, so get lost and Habla tu como quieras yo hablare el andaluz ...

There is gonna be a following post about the difference between the accents , how do they sound and where o they come from.

Dos banderas dos idiomas : A Spanish conflict

This is an interesting song that I came across today while looking for Flamenco songs.

It tells a conversation between a child and his father , where the child asks his father why does people in Barcelona call him ''The Andalusi'' although he was born in Catalunya, and why do his family in Andalucia calls him the ''Catalan'' when he goes to visit them in summer.

This is one of the conflicts that may - if it proceeds- change the face of Spain as we know it. Catalunya that wants its independence from Spain in order to become a ''country''!!

I heard about that before , actually I heard about it from an angry Andalusi girl from Cordoba who told me ''shame on them'' the Catalans are the sons of the Andalusis who immigrated because they did not find jobs in Andalucia, and now there sons are negating Spain and asking for their own country!

I talked about the topic with a waitress -my information resource in Spain- and she said that its a growing movement but its not gonna work anytime soon. She said that the Catalan government depends on the government of Madrid , and it could not survive without it.

To be honest , I never read a book or a fine article about the case so I would no be saying much because I did not investigate, but I feel represented by the song eheheheheheh because I feel Andalusi in a way , so if I end up studying in the Uniiversitat Auntonoma de Barcelona I will be with dos idiomas doas banderas ...

I just love this country ... all of it!

Why cant I keep my mind off him?

When we were in Malaga the last time something happened ,, something really simple and almost happens everyday. We were asking passers by for the bus we should take - as always!- and so we started a very casual and normal conversation with a guy on the bus stop.

Then he stated the usual questions: where are you from? why are you here? your Spanish is so good - oh thanks , do you like Granada or Malaga better? and so ... nothing special.

I say to him out of pure innocence: you look familiar , he says: where have you seen me before? I say: on TV , you look like a guy in a series called ''Aqui no hay quien viva'' you look like the guy from the gay couple , and he laughs a nervous and loud laugh and says: but I must clear it up: I am heterosexual. lets say for now I am. ... the conversation took the usual curves: oh , am sorry I thought you are from Morocco ,,, how are things in Palestine? is it as bad in Jordan? ...

Then his bus came he waved and he went away.
Nothing special of any kind... then why he keeps passing in my mind and I wonder who he was and where he might be , and what else ''is'' he? ...


This song sums it up:
I saw your face in a crowded place
and I dont know what to do
because I will never be with you
I dont know If I will see her again
but we shared a moment that will last for ever

Adriá Collado
did the role of Fernando Navarro
Aqui no hay quien viva

Why is it taking for ever for me to blog about Barcelona

I have noticed. It has been a long time since I came back from Barcelona. I came back 14 days ago and up till now I have not posted nor written about it in my paper diary.

I wondered for a while: Why is that?
I even said to my co-travelers -while still being in Barcelona- that this time I wont be able to post ''some'' pictures from the trip, I will just have to post ''all'' of them and talk using hundreds of words about each one of them , but when I got here I felt weird.

As its said in Spanish "Perdi las ganas" ... I lost my writing appetite...
I was down for a few days , I cried at some points , I felt so lost and overwhelmed , I even said that to my Mom - I never tell her while she is not around that I am in a bad shape, she would just feel sad and guilty not being able to do anything to help me- .

I felt -in a very unexplainable form- homesick!! I missed Barcelona ,,, It was a very big thing for me , something I waited for for a long long time , and when I was finally there I was running all the time catching buses , trains , metros and entrance tickets. And the 18 hours I spent in the bus coming back to Granada were enough for me to go through the memories again and realize what a big thing I have just had done.

I miss Barcelona and I have a big feeling that my story is not over with that city ,,, I know that there are other episodes for me there , but I am taking my time to post so the strings that tigh me to this episode will last longer.

I picked this picture because this is the thing that captured me in Barcelona: The smoothness of people on bikes navigating a plain -still- deep and amazing city.

Remembering those days

Maybe I have posted this song before,, but now I am posting it for a different reason.

When I listen to it I remember the days when I worked in the magazine. I dont know why do I keep remembering those days now, it just hits me every now and then the ridiculous amount of happiness I possessed by then.

Life was perfect , even though I was always whining about things and not feeling it was as PERFECT as I realize it now.

This song and a bunch of other songs that went side by side with that era , just take me away ... I feel relaxed , and the tornado of thoughts inside my head just vanishes.

Yes, by then things were hard , keeping my mind on what I SHOULD do not what I would LIKE to do , keeping my mind of the fights with Najeeb - who is now my Guru- but now when I look back I see that those days were perfect and I would never be the person whom I am if it was not for them.

Does the same apply for the days I am living now?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

New Banner

Mes que un club ... More than just a club ... much much more

El piso ...

I should state this clearly and openly: I am let down by this accommodation mess I have been through.
When I first found out about the scholarship the first thing I thought about was living in a nice apartment with native spanish girls. I looked all over the internet , I mailed a lot of people , and I had the hope that the roommates of one piso - spanish for apartment- would accept that I rent their room and they will talk to me before I come on skype , and then when I arrive we would just have to put the names on the faces -actually- and start the year here on a good foot.

I had the disappointment after the other while looking , and at the end I had to live with arabs and italians , not speaking any spanish all day. This is my destiny and I accepted it , and although it was not my plan but I could actually see the bright sides of it.

I started looking again for the second semester. I was passing by a container where a girl was sticking an ad , I talked to her about the piso in the ad and she said she would call me. She did and I went over to see the piso and the roommates. I looked for a little while and I liked the girls , the place and the magnificent location close to Arco Elvira.

I was supposed to pay the insurance tomorrow and move in February, but tonight the girl called and said that she did not know that the other roommates have already took the insurance from another girl and that she is so sorry.

I got the call while having the blast of a trip in Sevilla. I could not help but be disappointed. I understand that its Gods well and its the best for me , but I just felt that this torture was lengthened a bit more ,,, maybe I will have to keep looking for an extra week , or two or month ,,, who knows I might go home before staying in a place here and feeling like home.

Please God ,, Please ,, Please ,,, Dont let me down

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The way it is: Facts and nothing more

Just watch this video.

Its something that I avoided thinking about for a while now , but there is no way around it. This erasmus life would not work for me as long as I dont drink , party all night go to discoteca and be sexually available.

I hate to put it in this vulgar form but this is the way it is. I feel refused for being who I am, and here I am not saying that Spanish people are mean or racist, but I know for a fact now that for them I am a person they know and they dont - maybe cant- consider me a friend.

Really , why would they like to hang out with me when I would not go with them to the discoteca and the botellon. While I have an ethical system that differs a lot from theres?
I love who I am - I chose it for Gods sake- and I am not whining about the cultural difference , because its there no matter what , but the thing that really bugs me that most people would just keep thinking that ''she is an arab , maybe she is dumb , she is oppressed , she does not speak Spanish , maybe she is shy to mix , she is a virgin heheheh , she is silently judging me, she thinks I am a bitch because I share bed with my boyfriend , nooo there is no point of talking to her'' and instead of taking the chance and actually talk to me , people feel its way much easier and more comfortable to continue with the prejudgments they already have.

This is the case. It used to annoy me , but now I just look for what I came for ,I wanna learn Spanish not to socialize and if I will have to do it without the help of any friend then I will do it , watching Tv, listening to radio , talking to waiters and chit chatting with old people on the bus stops.

I gave up on the youth. Sorry!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The easiest answer that sometimes slips your mind

I love this video ,,, Its simple , smart and attractive. Sometimes when I am in the midst of a conversation the simple arguments just slip away ,,, this one is great ,,, watch

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Off my chest

After almost a month of thinking I decided today to tell my parents about the trip am planning to take to Barcelona.
I was worried that they might get worried , and I wanted it so bad that I was not ready to take a no. I told them and they hardly made one question about it!! God I hate it when this happens!!! But anyway I AM GOING TO BARCELONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Flamenco Flamenco: Funnily Nice

So Aliet suggested we go to a Cinema that none of us know , to watch a movie that none of us knows anything about , and always I got thrilled and we went , we missed the first showing and so we got to see the second.

I got all stressed about the Prayer of Maghreb , but then I did it in the lobby ,,, hehehe and then I got in with Aliet , her mom , Lubna and her mom and we watched Two Hours of Flamenco!!
At the beginning I thought its gonna be a movie with acting in it , but it was a documentary!

But after I accepted the idea I actually enjoyed it.

The best part of it all was Miguel Poveda's performance ,,, he is a singer from Catalonia up north and he seems to be the only catalan guy to sing flamenco ... he does it in a very touching way , he is the type of hard looking but tender guys who sings from the depth of his heart and with that magical throat of his everything that comes out is just great.

I loved the evening , and although I read a lot of negative criticism in the net about the movie - saying that it was not loyal to the traditional spirit of flamenco , which I agree with to some point- but all in all I loved the evening , so thanks to my friends :)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Monachil: A nice mistake that led to an Original day!

Today we woke up to go to the trip that our Portuguese suggested many weeks ago. She said that we should go Sierra Nevada , which is a place that tourists from all over the world come to visit and to ski.

Last year my friends went and I did not , I was like :'' I hate having my clothes wet, and I hate coldness'' , but this time I went with them just for the sake of not ''missing it''.

Our french friend Flora got the information from the internet and it said we should go to a town called Monachil and from there we can reach the Ski Station.

We got on the bus and we went , the driver said that after he drops us we should walk a kilometer and a half and then we will reach the town. Now as I think about it , it surprises me , in Jordan I would go bargaining about 100 meters and here I have no problem walking KILOMETERS!!

Anyway , as we walked through the amazing town we found out that reaching the Station needs a car , you know , the street goes in funny tine twisted pavementless streets that goes up the mountains, but it was totally ok for all of us , we were just happy to be there.

It is not a thing that I can express in a post. I was so happy , looking around me I was pleased by the nature and the continuous water noise with the river going in all directions. People were so nice, they were true country people , pure , welcoming and warm ....

I prayed by the river and when the bus came unannounced I had to cross the street shoe less holding my boats and my prayer mat in my both hands ,,, I was happy and that was one original day , Alhamdulial

Coffee in Monachil ,,, I love the coffee drinking tradition in order to bond with the place

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Two times in the Movies: Complete waste of money

I went to the movies here in Spain two times , just for the sake of going out with my friends.

One of them was a Spanish movie that SUCKED with all possible dimensions of the word. It was about a woman losing her sight and being chased by some kind of freak , whose mother acted like she is blind and then it turns out that she is not ,,, I dont know what I dont know what and then the movie ends without cleaning the mess of questions it has caused by its pure stupid plot!!!

The second movie was Harry Potter's seventh or eighth movie , and given the fact that I have not seen any of the previous movies I did not get a thing :s ....

But anyways for the sacred darkness of a movie theater I dont care about all the wasted money , I just LOVE IT :)

First Actual Round under the Rain on my Bike:)

Oh My God , I am soooooooooooooo thrilled and happy about the round I just took on my bike.
I got home at 11 , I thought about taking out the bike under the rain and try to ride it down the hell , I had the same idea yesterday but I did not go at the end , and today I said: Just take it out!! If it works out then have fun , and if not then just go back home.

And so I went , under the rain alone with my nice bike ,,,, I crossed the empty streets and saw the twinkling rain drops under the street yellow lights , I felt the air and the adrenaline and I felt like flying ... I was happy , and I felt some subtitles going down my head saying: This is one of THOSE moments ,,, THOSE moments ,,,

I owned the streets , I went down to the extranjeria and the hospital , and actually rode on asphalt for the very first time .... My Bike suddenly got a name: Beiro! The name of the neighborhood I reached - not knowing it was there- as I drove.

I just cant explain how happy I am ...
Purely Happy ,,, Truly Truly Happy ..

Friday, November 26, 2010

You me and Dupree

Mmmmm ,,, it was meant to be a great movie but it is not!
This only works for Dypree but not for everybody ,,, but its enjoyable in a way

Thursday, November 25, 2010

How much I miss speaking Japanese

I cant believe that I really STOPPED going to japanese class and with the time going by I started losing the things I already know ,,, I just feel helpless in front of videos like this one ,,, I feel that I am close to understanding but then I dont understand ...

This is one of the mistakes of my life that Enshalla I will make right as soon as possible ,,,

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Exactly how I feel

This explains much

It is not that I wanna go back ,,, I just dont feel right doing what am doing where am doing it,,, But it used to be better at home ,,, I will get over it enshalla ....

Crazy friends making the evenings more fun

The only person who passed in the deserted street took the picture for the five of us ...
Dina - Lebanon , Me - Jordan , Koshya - Polonya , Matina - Polonya , Rasha - Jordan ..

I just love them... I love how enthusiastic and life loving they are ...

Monday, November 22, 2010

About Antonio de Milano

Tonight I went to Manila for the usual movie night...

There is not much to say about the thing am posting about , but I just feel like writing it down.
The guy who works in Manila is just amazing. Antonio , he is Italian from Milano. He speaks with a funny yet nice italian accent. He is somewhere between blonde and brown - or better ''moreno''- and his face hair is not neat but has a unique style that adds kindness to his face.

He is the type of waiter who makes each client feel spacial and important , he adds a smile to his sentences and there is some special warmth about him. This is not some poetic exaggeration , this is nothing compared to how warm and amazing this guy is.

Today ,everybody was all busy with the movie and I gazed at him for a moment. He was leaning on the beer tap and looking at the silent crowd. I thought how happy would a woman be with him, he is masculine but with a feminine side. I wondered how would his hugs be and suddenly out of no where it just popped to my mind : Its always another woman!

I would always see those outstanding men - and they are few- and think how they would be to there women ,,, the women whom I am never in there shoes ,,,

Its not about Antonio himself ,,, he is just an example ,,, a pure thing ,, a bell on the doorstep of my mind ,,, ~sigh~

Friday, November 19, 2010

Happy Birthday Blog: 2 Years and many more to come

Dear blog ,,, IT has been two years now , I am happy that I have you and therefor having a written record of my thoughts and memories.

Best of luck , from me to you ...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bikey Bike :D

I got the bike today!!
The guy called , I went down , took the bike and went back home feeling so ... Overwhelmed?

Monday, November 15, 2010

An evening saying the things that I hate to say

I spent this evening in Cafe Bar Manila watching a movie called Checkpoints thats supposed to be about the suffering of Palestinian people on checkpoints all along their land.

The movie goes for 80 minutes showing daily conversations between Israeli troops and Palestinian people trying to convince the troop to let him/her pass. It shows that if the Palestinian dude makes a good conversation with the troop then he would actually convince him to let him pass!!

So when the movie was over they asked if anyone would like to comment and I jumped almost involuntarily and talked how far from realism is the movie ,,, then there started one of the most boring conversations I would ever have ,,,

I t was a very good conversation , in which Rasha , a Palestinian guy who happened to be there and I cleared some vague ideas for the audience. But then they started the gay conversation of ''violence would not solve the problem''. Do they actually hear themselves when they talk?!! DO they think that Israel would be interested in any peace shit and do accept the solution of the two states?!!! Do they believe that talking would solve that? do they believe that a Zionist Jew Israeli troop who is designed to ''clean'' the world from arabs , whose entire existence is about his promised land and his chosen people would ever care about I have to say?!!

This kind of conversations normally pisses me off but I was calm along the way in order to let people ask and wonder and therefor liberate their minds from what TV tells them all the time ..

A girl participated in the conversation and she said : ''I am an Israeli'' and my mind went blank for a while ... she said that a relative of hers died in an attack and that the movie bothers her because it shows a bad face for Israel (AS if Israel has another one!!!) .

We told her that being a troop and pointing a gun at the heads of innocent people is not a job , she said that she decided not to serve in the army but it was a hard decision to make , and I was like '; what do you want now? a prize? a ''thanks for no killing my children'' award?
The girl was afraid , and she did not talk much (good for her , becuase I was on the mood to wipe the floor with whatever would make the face of Palestine look ugly).

A guy participated in the conversation too much and he was smart and responsible , he made some interesting questions, like ''What now? How do we solve this conflict?'' and I had one word in my head ''Struggle'' which is the English term for ''Jihad'' but people would not understand , or I might be deported from the entire country.

Antonio closed up the conversation, and thanked everybody for coming and we called the night. It was good , but having to ask for a permission to resist is just disgusting.

What do you know about Palestine? what do you know about what the people who has been mortified for the last 62 years? what do you know about losing your family and your money for the mere idea of being whom you are?! What do you know about this genocide?

Please dear World , if you dont know enough about Palestine , please have the decency to shut up.

Watch the movie , imagine if that was going on in your own city, how would it feel?

A bike alarm!!!

Today I was doing more rounds for my bike , and I went across that cool shop in Realejo and I had a cute conversation with the girl who works there , and as I told her I wanted a fold able bike that would not top 200 euros she was like ''Noooooooooooooo'' . She said that the ones she have are too expensive - one of them costs 900 but its 9 Kgms only!!!- and she said: Take care when you buy a cheap one , those things fold you dont want them to break. - And I was like: I never thought about this possibility- and she said: Maybe you would like to look in a second hand shop , and I was like: A light bulb lighting on the side of my head!!! Why I never thought about it?!!

So I went back home and after 5 minutes of search I came across this ad:

50 euros!! and it is not even used , he said in another ad - when he was asking for 60 euros- that it was a gift and he is selling it because he does not use it. So I picked up the phone and called the guy , and we are meeting tomorrow in the biking lane of Cartuja here close to my house,,,

Please let this be good ...

I will have 150 euros in my budget that I can actually use in Madrid hehehehe :)

Friday, November 12, 2010

To survive without God

Today I went to Hispanoamerican Literature class for the first time. I noticed a group of korean students sitting right behind me and only one of them sitting three of four seats away from me in the same line.

I thought about them for a while. I thought it should be really hard for them to understand all the spanish that is used in the class and all the historical information mentioned. I dont know why I thought that, for instance I am Jordanian - Asian too and I belong to a very different culture compared to the Hispanic culture- and then I noticed their clothing, their books , their voice recorders and their cute red electronic dictionaries.

I thought how Asian people specially Koreans dont have a religion and they seem just fine.
The class was boring ,, really boring so I kept thinking , how do they live their day by day life not even being athiest? they just dont give it a thought ...
And meanwhile I was dozing off and daydreaming my desk started shaking and my pens rolled down and fell , I looked and the korean girl who was in my line has dropped her pen and started getting spasms and she started to slide down falling off her chair!!!
For a while I was shocked and could not really think about anything , but when she started sliding down I ran to her and held her head so she wont pump it to the chairs ,,,

It was so scary , you know , becuase I could not understand what got into her ,,, it was like she was getting electrocuted and shaking , and the look on her face !! Oh my God the look on her face , she was totally conscious to what was going on with her and she seemed helpless not being able to control her own body , and not being able to stop it!

What happened later is not important ,,,,the spanish girls proved one more time that they are useless - no offense buddies- but they acted out in the traditional ''I am freaked out because I have zero experience'' behavior. They were even impolite piling around the girl and trying to get a better angle to look!

But as I went over the scene again I remembered that when I first saw her I said involuntarily "Bism Allah'' >> By the name of God ... I dont wanna go all mystic , but if the option of calling Gods name when you are afraid seemed very soothing ,,, I am happy I have a God , I can be afraid for a while but am never mortified.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

As I passed by the Monastery

As I passed by the monastery today I remembered when I used to live there ...
Those were perfect days ,,, I remember that it was a continuous magical moment..
I was so broke and so lonely but still it was a dream ,,, this year , things are fine , but not magical ,,
not as magical as the bells of the monastery ringing in the windy nights ,,, not at all

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Where the hell is my salary?

This picture is quite inspiring for me as it has been ten days since the beginning of this month and yet they did not pay me my salary ,,,

But in spite of the tiny budget I have I dont feel the feeling that I used to have last year : The endless fall in the bottomless hole of poverty.

My soul cracked as money disappeared into no where and gave me that hollow feeling of loneliness and anger.

Although I might get my salary after ten more days , but at least am getting some good money , and so help me God am going to Barcelona ;)

My Mr Right

Mr. Right is a part of the title of an interesting book called '' The Book of Rules: How to Capture the Heart of Mr Right".

I first heard about that back when I was in high school , a very special friend of mine was reading it and I thought to myself: Huh , as if I need that.

I thought - by then- that I got it all figured out (I cant find another phrase to finish the sentence so I am just gonna leave that way).

The time has passed since then and I discovered few facts about myself when it comes to men:
1- I can be there very best friend
2- They can be me bestest friends
3- They can still be my friends until they are in love , engaged or married , by then I freak out , I get all awkward and 99% of the times I sneak out of the friendship.
4- I can easily get a crush on anybody.
5- I can easily lose the crush if I get a more important thing to do.
6- I said in my mind the phrase ''I am so in love with..." almost 6 times in the last 6 years and I always get a moment where I wonder if any of that was true.
7- I have a lot of values that I cant go around which makes it so inconvenient for me to be in love. - its not that am better or worse than other girls , but am a country side traditional person -
8-I might seem so open about my feelings and I share too much , but when it comes to the real stuff I dont really share with almost anybody , not even my own mother , which makes men feel unneeded.
9- I am shy >> yes this surprises me , I am all out going and have a low social fence , but sometimes I keep a comment or an idea to myself for no obvious reason.
10- Poetry , novels , movies and songs have really messed up my head and elevated my criteria.

So ....

Today I was on the bus almost heading to nowhere, I though I might get down to get my residency papers done. When I first got on the bus there was a guy in front of me , he tried to pass his card ore than once and it did not count, he got a little worried and he said to the driver: I charged it yesterday ... he looked back at me apologizing for making me wait and I nodded ''Its ok'' nod.

Then I sat on a funny curve that only exists in line 33 buses and I gazed around.

The guy stood ahead of me and gazed too ...
He was so handsome, just like a magazine cover , his jacket , his shirt , his pants and his shoes where all matching in a way that looked so spontaneous.
But the thing that really got me thinking is his far away look ,,, now I remember a video of Russel Peters where he speaks about the way men can sit for 15 minutes thinking about extremely NOTHING. I noticed that this was so true , and this is why this guy´s far away look got my attention.
He looked smart therefor he looked attractive.

I started my ''bus mental activity'' answering the set of questions I always make inside my head when I am using strangers as characters: Whats his name? How old is he? what does he do? Is he satisfied with what he accomplished? What are his dreams? What makes him laugh? what makes him cry? Is he simple,complicated , nice , mean, deep , shallow, creative or normal kind of person?

I could not get much answers ,,,

Thats him in the picture above!!
Afterwards I decided - for no obvious reason- that I wanna follow him. Maybe I wanted to know where does men like him come from. He got off the bus and I went after him keeping a distance ,,,, I walked and my heals made a lot of noise -or so I thought- I lost him almost three times along the way , but as I walked faster around the curves I could always trace him again ,,,, After almost 15 minutes of walking he entered the building you see in the picture under this paragraph.

It was a hostel! He is not from here ,,, why does he have a Granada bus card if he is not from here? when does he leave? where does he leave to? who is he and why -just why- he got me thinking about my Mr. Right?

Ps: If you think this is a sick post then maybe you should not be reading this blog , I am a curious cat so live with it.

Never thought I would say this: I have winter depression!

I am depressed!! It really coasts me too much to talk or have fun ... Ok I do have fun but I just hate that I hate going out.

Who would ever believe that I would prefer staying at home better than going out to anywhere?! but this is the case , the weather has changed in a brutal way and all of a sudden its so damn cold outside that my skull freezes and a thing in my chest hurts every time am out!!

I hate it I hate it I hate it!! I hate worrying about a jacket and long leather boots and an umbrella everytime I wanna step outside the door !!

I am just mad ,, I need time to deal with this ugly change ,, until then I am gonna be in my bed reading and watching movies and eating junk food

What I see: Its raining bicycles !!

I swear to God I cant remember when I last craved something that money can buy as much as am craving the bicycle ...

But sometimes I thank God that I did not get my payment yet , I would always tell myself: When they pay me am gonna buy the bicycle. I dont want to rush into it , I wanna think , chose wisely, enjoy , and not pay much.

I am thinking about it all the time , GODDDDDDDD I look at the streets and all what I see is bicycles!! I dont even notice cars nor motorcycle ... Only bicycles so glamorous , shiny and wonderfully.

I look at people riding their bikes in the middle of Gran Via and I just wonder if I would ever be brave enough to do that ... Like really drive infront of a line 8 Huge bus ...

I notice how people peddle, how do they slow down on curves , when the pavement is crowded, how do they pass from between obstacles and how do some of them actually ride with no handlebars!!!

Some seem like they are flying ,,, some look so happy ,,, and so I got one more reason to love Cartuja for the carril we have so we can ride safely on normal streets , nothing like the crazy hill in which my faculty is situated.

I wanna pick pick pick ...
A good bike that would cling to me when I leave and say: Dont leave me behind I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
I love those lines :)

This is a 400 euros 11 Kgm fold-able bike I saw in a shop in Zaidin ,,, it broke my heart ... I cant pay that much!!!
And I think this is the winner , 195 Ibiza that I saw in Neptuno ...

Lets just wait and see :)