Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The way it is: Facts and nothing more

Just watch this video.

Its something that I avoided thinking about for a while now , but there is no way around it. This erasmus life would not work for me as long as I dont drink , party all night go to discoteca and be sexually available.

I hate to put it in this vulgar form but this is the way it is. I feel refused for being who I am, and here I am not saying that Spanish people are mean or racist, but I know for a fact now that for them I am a person they know and they dont - maybe cant- consider me a friend.

Really , why would they like to hang out with me when I would not go with them to the discoteca and the botellon. While I have an ethical system that differs a lot from theres?
I love who I am - I chose it for Gods sake- and I am not whining about the cultural difference , because its there no matter what , but the thing that really bugs me that most people would just keep thinking that ''she is an arab , maybe she is dumb , she is oppressed , she does not speak Spanish , maybe she is shy to mix , she is a virgin heheheh , she is silently judging me, she thinks I am a bitch because I share bed with my boyfriend , nooo there is no point of talking to her'' and instead of taking the chance and actually talk to me , people feel its way much easier and more comfortable to continue with the prejudgments they already have.

This is the case. It used to annoy me , but now I just look for what I came for ,I wanna learn Spanish not to socialize and if I will have to do it without the help of any friend then I will do it , watching Tv, listening to radio , talking to waiters and chit chatting with old people on the bus stops.

I gave up on the youth. Sorry!

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