Sunday, November 30, 2008

In The Arms Of An angel

Watch this >>

I am listening to this song in my not working these days.. no work ..

I am thinking
I was in bruce's room.. watching Amman through the window and thinking to myself: Maybe I fell in love with the glory fo this city that its hard for me to love REAL people.. do you think so?

I reached a point where I believed that Love is a one side process..
Its where I live with my fantasies and soft songs , and where I thank God that I didnt run into you not even once today ...

God has a plan .. He knows that my eyes were too lucid today , that If you had seen them then you would have read your name inside them . You are stupid and this is why I mainly hate you ...

Its stupid that a person gets a one in a lifetime opprtuinty to be cherished, loved , observed , immortalized and treated as if he was a "Living Miracle" and still gets the guts to lose it.

Today I did some more fotos printing .. I print you whenever your stupidity hits me ...

I hate you

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sleepy cat

You sleepy Cat ... I have been trying hard
But still :
I hate you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate you ... Get the hell out of my head
I dedicate this song for you
I hate Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Friday Friday...again :)

Well that was a different friday...we did not go to our town in Irbid... I could have had an emotional break down because am not used to "Friday Silence"...

Do you know the feeling when silence is too loudy? I cant understand why are we suppozed to be locked in Amman meanwhile the entire family is making a mess out of my grandparents's house!!!

It was the "Jaha" of a friend's son... God how much I find "Jaha" a stupid thing to do... its like gathering everyone you know to emphasize infront of the other party that you are so God damn popular!!!

I was telling my father that if I ever get married (hehe... I mean ever) I will not accept a Jaha under any condition...its stupid!!! My father was like "are you crazy!! of course am gonna ask for a huge Jaha" ... He is exaggerating, I know.. the whloe concept of me "getting married" brings tears to his eyes...

The point that I spent the day n my coozy room... and instead of taking pictures of clouds, trees ,mountains and sunsets I took pictures of my room.

Welcome to my tiny "EvaLuna Land"

This tha "Arabic Wall"...

Every language has its own wall in my room , and this is the wall I started ages ago when I spoke nothing but Arabic. The white pages above the grey cartoon is the entire poem "Balkees" written by Nizar Qabbani for the memory of his wife Balkees.

The pages under the cartoon is another poem of Nizars called :

منشورات فدائية على جدران اسرائيل

I consider both poems ones of the finest pieces of poetry written in modern time. In the high right corner you can see my name written in katakana ... They wrote it for me last year in the Japanese cultural week that was held in JU.

How fast does time pass us by!! It was yesterday when I was complaining that my name in "Japanese" was so stupid and simple. I kept pointing my finger to the kanji syllables that were displayed in the background, I kept asking "Why does not my name look like these?!!". They tried to make me understand that its a different thing but I did not feel like understanding ... Maybe I Felt like falling in love and so : I OFFICIALLY Fell ...

This video shows the fuss we were making around the japanese dudes who were helping us write our names .>>>> God we had so much fun . Its been a year and I can still recall all the details ( looks like the 128 mb are expanding .. hehe)

The second part of the arabic wall: The four papers attached with clamps are my spanish courses certificates from El Instituto Cervantes - Amman . I have got a "Sobresaliente" (stands for: outstanding) in 3 of them and one "Notable" (stands for: very good). You can see the program of the last world cup and the simple drawing of a circassian male and female dancers( They break my heart .. they are so beautifull ..).

The third part of the arabic wall: Map of Spanish-speaking countries (They are almost 25 countries with the population of 400 million native speakers: america latina except for brasil , america media , 15% of U.S.A habitants , Guinea ecuatorial in Africa and Philipins in Asia)(not to mention my friends and I in Jordan...loooooool). A poem written by martyr iraqi president Saddam Hussien (If you dont agree with me that he is a martyr then you are stupid... hehe) and a painting I drew with my friend Dana in the painting exhibtion that was held in JU when we were Fresh Freshmen (or women ..lool).

The fourth part: high left corner>>> A poem by Robert frost "The Road Not Taken"...That was the first thing we studied in the Anthology class back when we were 11th graders. We had A fresh new teacher, Her name was Manar .. and so she was . One of the persons who lit up my way and made me believe in my potentials.

Great poem with a great teacher

A detiled map of my dearest España. A world map and the poem that Julia Stiles recited in the movie "Ten Things I Hate about You" . Everytime I watch the video I get tears in my eyes. God bless Heth Ledger >>and Julia as well.

A closer look on my World Map : Three Thick lines heading toward the second destinations:

Amman - Madrid

Amman - Tokyo

Amman - Moscow

Ever noticed that the word destination ends with a "nation"?

The last part of tha Arabic wall: A detailed map of Palestine (I insist: PALESTINE you idiots). A picture of Mr president Saddam Hussein .. May God bless his soul and may us see him in Allahs paradise. A picture of 6 year old EvaLuna wearing a white dress , in that day my father decorated the car and we hit the streets of Amman acting like we were in a real wedding ... loool... smart thing my father did coz I dont see a REAL wedding coming.

My library ... its more stuffed thatn you think: books are standing in doubled lines.

This is my childhood desk.. It has my elder books and my actual rubbish ... HeHe

More books put above the socks drawer. This Tablelamp was a gift from a nice friend who was worried about my candles disease. A year and a half has passed and am still planning to buy a bulb : )

Yep... You are not mistaken: This is the back of my room's door. Back in tawjihi days I turned it to a white board... Now I use it to write down the things I am afraid to forget and its where I do simple mathmatical equations (I still use my fingers for addition...lool).

Two shots of my japanese wall ... Hiragana letters so I can revise them all the time. As I started learning Katakana I have to set a new wall , and for the Kanji syllables I have to get an new house ... Hehehehehehehe : )

A part of the Spanish Wall ... Spanish has many walls and spots around the room .

My closet's door covered with transprancies and turned into another whiteboard dedicated for new vocabulary. In this picture we can see the vocabulary of Japanese last week's lesson. I can sing them for you now because I am revising all the time.

I dont open the closet pretty much because I put all the clothes that I ACTUALLY wear on the hanger.To tell the truth I dont change that much ... I just feel bad for others for having to see the same colors 5 times a week and this is why I play a little bit with my clothes :)

My table with my books, notebooks , copies of Quran, water bottels and rubbish:) I hardly find a bit of space to write.

Thats why I write sitting on my bed. I do all kinds of activities here ... read , write , contemplate , gaze at the ceiling , bit my nails , read poetry books that are situated on the top of the bed and burn candels and rubbish. But I dont sleep here ... It doesnt relax me ... I feel distant from Earth and this bothers me.

My Rocking Chair and my Oud . CRA ( stands for : Contemplating Restricted Area)

My Chair's name is: ترنيمة الريحان

My Oud's name is : جارا أورورا

The only one who has the right to make sounds in my room is my dearest radio.

My Japanese book , notebook and shukudai (homework)

Obviously I have not done it yet ... bad student :)

This is where I sleep : close to earth , hugging my Tweety and hardly waiting for tomorrow to come.

Good night

Buenas noches


spakonay noche

تصبحون على خير


الأرض بتتكلم عربي الأرض الأرض

الأرض بتتكلم عربي الأرض الأرض

الأرض بتتكلم عربي و قول الله

إن الفـــــجر لمن صــــلاه

الأرض بتتكلم عربي و قول الله

إن الفـــجر لمن صــــلاه

ما تطولش معاك الآه .. الأرض الأرض الأرض

الأرض بتتكـــلم عربي .
I prayed Al-Fajer and could not go back to sleep.
It looks like a nice morning so I wish you all a happy day.
And for me I wish am going to stop hating you ... its making me black and I feel bad
May Sayyed Makkawi rest in peace .. God bless his soul for he left us this finr piece of art
It might look funny that I am posting such a song on an english blog
I blog in English to save the little English I know from fading . Spanish , Russian an Japanese are cutting through my 128 mb brain :)
My heart is sad , but my smile is there ...
Smilimg is my bad habit ..:)
Alla ma3kum

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I hate you

I hate you ... I hate you ...I hate you ....Its maikng me sick... not the Julia Stiles way in "Ten Things I Hate About You" ... I hate you >> I hate you .... God I can go on writing this forever and its not enough ... I hate you ... I hate you >> I hate you ... You piss me off ... I hate you ... Its even getting worse while I write it even more ... but I hate you ... You hair ball head I hate you .. You are not smart... You are mean ... and I hate you ... Goddddddddddddddddd how much I hate you ... you are ugly ... your head is ugly..your hair is ugly ... your goofy walk is ugly .. the chewed gum inside your brain is ugly ... your hesitation is ugly .. your smile is ugly ... your faraway look is ugly ... every beautiful thing about you is Ugly ... because

I Hate YOU
Nighty you Ugly

A weird bag with a nice guy

When I took my coffee cup this morning from my "koshk" I looked to the other side of the street and my eye landed on a "Shegef" blonde guy . I wondered why is he holding 2 bags ( I was thinking that "taymoor sensei bags disease" has not spread yet .... loool ) ... with a little cocentration i found out that it was One bag on a shoulder and a Bshenah on the other( circassian accordion). I was like: Oh My God !! Aint it lovely !! but as I focused more than necessary the guy was like: "have you lost a shelen in my face!!!" .

Too bad that I didnt hear him play it ...

This a picture from google image search..hehehe

Ooops... am turning faomus ... looool

The Japanese embassy in Amman has published the Haikus we wrote in the workshop in their official website ... my name is Takwa (so its not smart...loool)

Check this out

Einstein had a point

When señor Albert Enstien said that things are relative he had a point... a fat strong one indeed.

Time passes you by in a wink if you are doing something you like . I just came back from my japanese class in JICA and I cant believe that the 90 minutes of the class has just evaporated.

I laughed my lungs out today as many funny things happened especially when sensei technically started crying because he couldnt eat a japanese dish that one of my colleagues has eaten.

I love everything in this class although it is situated in an uglu building .. God how ugly it is!!

These are the pictures of todays journey : )

I hate those two buildings (Ammans twin towers)... They are growing like cancer and they dont look like Amman... they show how stupid we are . For me as a citizen who would never ever ( I mean neveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer eveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer) put herself in the aluminum grave called : Elevator I wonder why do we need so many floors!!

Anyway .. I see these towers in my way to class .. nada mas.

My father and I stopped by a Masjid so we can pray El-Magreb before class. As expected: Ladies Masjid was closed and so I had to pray on the sidewalk. Although it is not the best place to concentrate but I had a huge feeling of comfort..its one of the rare moments when you feel that God has heard you and gave you his love. I missed up with the car until my father came out and he was so proud of how I managed to rotate the car's front and then park it neatly next to the sidewalk: ). (If I dont get a japanese car I am gonna kill myself... they are making me drive a korean one.. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo)

This a picture of the ugly stairs that lead to our class

And this is our door ... the first door to the right is Oraib's office (the lovely secratery of the JAAJ) (not the JAAJ that came to your mind....loooool) and the office to our left is a tailor shop..loool... it makes funny sounds all the time.

At least our class is very neat...its familiar and gives a "home like" feeling as soon as you step in. I wanted to take a picture but did not want to approach my colleagues privacy so I did not. My classmates are very funny and they form a nice mosaic: A lawyer , tawjihi student , uni students , computer engineer and two 10th graders. I was happy to know that there are 15 years old boys who find a japanese class more intersting than a soccer game in a street.
Thats really flattering >>> Ganbatte Kudasai Ahmad san to Yousef san.
Thats all for now .... sayounaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

We are cowards .. Both of Us

I just wanted to say that ...

Its killing me that we are that weak...
Everytime our eyes meet we act like we have seen nothing. I am not sure about you.. It can be true that you have seen nothing , but for me : NO ... I have seen something that I am too coward to declare.


I did not see It that way !!

Its funny when a person gets a picutre of his own self and feels like : "Ohhhh...I did not see it that way".

These are other pictures that the sensei gave me ...Am so damn habbooleh when it comes to pictures ... looool

I love me when I write ... I look like I know what I am doing ( Elly bedri bedri ..loool)

Ever since I got my mp4 I felt like there is something making everyone give me that look that says "What The Hell!!" ... I didnt realize why until I saw this picture .. thats really weird for a place like JU..loool

Here you go Oprah Winfery ... (no wonder why my friends always tell me that they hated me at first sight...really funny)

This is a very sad one ... Its so lonely ... I dont know why its among the Haiku pictures but I loved it (or her).

We have a got The Tear on tape !!!

Hay .. do you remember this post?

Its where I talked about the tear that broke the rule of the "5 crying steps"... Well today Tymoor sensei gave me the pictures he took in the Haiku lectures and I think we have got that tear caught on tape!!!!!!!!!

Here we Go

Pausing Life Tape - 1

Monday, November 24, 2008

Its just stupid

I cant concentrate on my russian test .... Its so damn stupid.

My mind keeps going in the same circle and I am trying to prevent myself but I just feel bad..
It has been along time since I last felt bad so its a good thing for a change but I am worried too..

Am worried I might lose you ... I dont know why but it scares me everytime you turn your back..

Unbelievably stupid ... stupid that I cant write more

EvaLUna feeling bad
10:31 por la noche

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My little treat :)

So I got myself a little treat....

I bought her from a shop close to the universitys northen gate ... The shops name is "Cadeou" (here you go: a free comercial ...lool). I have seen it there long time ago and thought "Mmm.. I love this one and am gonna buy her" but I dont know why always something happens when I head toward the shop to get it. Last Thursday I didnt have enough money to take the bus home but still: I went and bought her. My friends were making the well known "Cadeou Fuss" when they start touching everything and yelling: cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute .. ohhh i lovee this... but they buy nothing at the end because its a little bit expensive.

I took the plastic bag and went outside. As I was observing the shop I felt what a painful place it is!! funny hah? but yeah places can be painful too . Its a shop that can make you feel bad if you dont have loved ones. ... I dont even wanna talk about it.

Now... this swing is my remedy.

When Everything looks illogical I look at it and I think that someone who has not seen the first 4 balls will not understand why the last ball is moving. There is always a hidden part in the picture .. a part that we are suppozed to explore.

And each time I look at it I feel tenderness in my heart...I feel that God is too close to me that he is patting my head... I watch the balls moving so hard but still: they cant get out of the track, And so do I , I will try my hardest on everything but I know deep inside that Allah has picked the best track for me... I know HE is protecting me all the time therefor I have nothing to worry about.

I love You God ... I love You .. dont give up on me for am never going to give up on You.


Our hairy guest

Today we had this guest in our "comprension auditiva" class ...

She was hiding inside the teachers desk... God how my friends shouted an jumped when the saw her, on the other hand she was very quiet as If she understood the fear she caused to some girls and did not mean it.
I got to touch her fur , and I guess that she is a domestic cat because she is way too clean to be an astray cat. Rasha Politaliana took her outside and everyone in the corridor were shouting !!!
Someone make believe that these people dont fart at home!!!
You can see Profesora Rinads arm and the radio cassette. She told us a very deep thing: She is a cat among people, she is afraid and lonely so please dont shout infront of her.
Life is lessons :)

Friday Friday...

Well , Friday is not my favorite day but still, I get to do some "fridaian" stuff that I really enjoy.

Every Friday I go with my family to our town in Irbid. We spend like an hour and a half in the car ... I enjoy spending time in moving objects listening to music and watching throughout the window.

These are the pictures I took this Friday ... next Friday I am gonna take the same pictures all over again .. looool ... I just cant get enough of these scenes.


View from car window - Jerash

Wires are always scratching the surface of the clouds!!

This is the Almond tree where my uncle Mohammad (6 months elder than me) aunt Maymona (two years elder than me) used to hang our swing ... generations and generations of swings were tied, cut ,recut and retied on this branch....

My father picking lemon climbing the stairs of the ladder. He is always picked to do these duties because he is considered the tallest.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The weird question of Midori san :-S

Medori-san is a japanese friend I got to know last week... very intellectual and deep person with a especial character. Throughout the conversation she said the word "Israel" and I was like: Noooooo Its not Israel its Palestine, and she was like: Oh am sorry I dont know that much. And then she asked me a question that made me look like Maroko san in the above picture. She said: Are you jordanian from Jordan or jordanian from Palestine?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was called to the platform in that exact moment And I had to close my own mouth with my own hands as the question dropped it open.
I am so ashamed... deeply ashamed ...if a japanese friend who has not spent more than a year (i suppoze) in my country is asking me this question then what superficial people we are that we had the power to convey such a stupid Idea in such a little time!!!
I am disgusted ...
Midori san thank you for making me see this

خرابيش الجاج ....Hen drawings

Well ... I cant find a word more expressive than
خرابيش الجاج
to describe the things I am gonna show you, and for those who cant read arabic it means "the random tiny tunnels that a hen makes with its feet while searching for worms and things to eat".

And so these are Kharabeesh Eljaj that I saw in Al-Hussein cultural center yesterday:

No comment really !!

Well I have a scientific opinion about this one:
Paintings are supposed to give a sensation of space that matches with the subject of the painting. Now this one is a painting of the sea (which is a very spacious thing) but still the painting is too limited that it makes the sea look pretty much like a pool!!
I hate It .. It makes me sick really !!
I wonder how could such things reach the walls of such a prestigous center? I really really wanna be there when a so called"Artist" comes to a cultural center holding his so called "work of art" under his arm and shows it to the "Adminstrator" who actually AGREES on hanging it!! I really wanna watch this scene .. it makes a good comedy for me..looool
Now we reach the second wonder I had yesterday...
Why I freak out at the beginning of every event I attend!!
In the first 30 minutes I was alone because my father was in the mousqe praying Al-Isha, and so I wandered around the place .. took some pictures ... and looked at the stupid paintings. When I ran out of Ideas I went to the ladies room , pulled a big piece of toilet paper and my liquid pen and I went on writing right next to the basins.
Ahhh ... am the kind of person who can start a conversation with a chair let alone people. I get to click so damn easily with others but still it freaks me out , I dont know why!! Whenever I attend an event I get the feeling that everyone in the place knows each other and I am the only outsider (it's a huge burden confessing this .. it hurts) . Everytime I think of giving up and leaving the place. Always for a reason that I cant specify I dont run away ,and then enjoy myself to the extreme.
Whenever am with my father I feel protected but I dont let him know it. He raised me to be the strong girl who he thinks I am , and so am always pretending to be taking care of him when the truth is that I am hiding my own fear.
Spending so much time with my father has made us a copy ... he has this kind of fear too and I help him cover it.
I believe that if I was given the chance to pick a father then I would I have picked him coz am the luckiest person to have him by my side :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Pictures I took in Al-Hussein cultural center

Well I hope that you will sympathize with my Canon trauma ... I love my phone camera but I just feel its not right .. anyway ... these are the photos I took

Those stairs are so suitable for a Cinderlle losing her shoe ... God !! I came back home with my two shoes on :'-(

I guess this is an enterance to the theatre in the center .. but the designer reached his goal of making it look old.

This is a view outside ... Amman cant get any nicer!!!!!!!!!!!! She is already a miracle :)

Sayounara Koko Kato sensei :'-(

3 Hours ago I attended the last Haiku session that was held in El-Hussein Cultural Center in Ras El-Ain.

It was my first time in Al-Hussien center, its so luxurious and neat!!

I attended the session with my father who sat next to me and was so thrilled to be using the instant translation device. He made me laugh several times when he was making comments and did not realize that his voice was loud, my poor daddy is not used to using earphones..loool.

Koko Kato sensei talked about Haiku poetry and read some examples, but unfortuantely did not make us recite the verses with her. The audience asked her a bunch of questions and el sensei was translating .. he made us laugh everytime he mixed the three languages together in the same sentence. And oh... the sensei should comb his hair more often, its surprising how he looked today!!

And my father was like: "Where is your sensei?" i pointed at him and my father was like: "Is he a japanese dude? he looks like one for me"... am not gonna get through it again , I was bored of explaining this tiny bit of information for the billionth time this week :).

When the session reached its end I stepped to the front of the room to say good bye to kato sensei. She was talking to men in black suits (they give me a bad feeling always) and when the vanished I came next her and said: "I came to say good bye ... its been a pleasure meeting you and I hope that one day I will visit you in Japan" and all of a sudden she gave me that HUGE HUG... I always knew that japanese people dont like touching others and if a japanese doesnt start a hug then dont start it by yourself , but as she hugged me I hugged her back strongly.

I really loved kato sensei .. she has that worm smile and depth of knowledge that makes it so hard to say good bye and consider that we might never meet again!!

Thank you a lot Kato sensei ... I will never forget you ... May God bless you and lighten your heart and mind as you lightened mine.

Arrigatou for Sakamoto san , Midori san , Kekuchi san , Dima san , Tamra san Y Sandra san for making those days an unforgattable memory for myslef.

Sayounara :)

Sakamoto san , Kato san and myself - picture taken be the sensei (God am so damn fat!!)

Love From The First Sight

Oh My God

She is extreme beauty!!

(I am not so sure that its her picture but I stole this picture from my sensei blog).loooooool

So this is how our love story satrted: We are in the Haiku final lecture and I had to change my chair to set close to Tamara san who was by that time writing her Haiku. The sensei was sitting right infront of us and all of a sudden he broke my heart: He put her on the table and she leant a little bit to the front then she stood still... her lens was looking at me .. almost smiling to me (am not stupid , but she was so damn smiling) and something in my heart sparkled.

I leant toward the sensei, I told him : "Can I take a picture of the camera?" he misheard me.. he thought I said: "can I take a picture with the camera?" and so he stood up and gave her to me !!!!

Oh My Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

She was so lovely .. even cuddly... I really really cant describe what she made me feel, am not professional but the flash part is just like a neck and she was leaning at me like a tiny smart baby.

Oh My God ... what have I done to myself??!! Now no existing camera would satisfy me except for her..

It feels magical when you hit the button and she starts making those funny voices , and you believe that now she is making your moment immortal !! She has that perfect weight where you feel Like you are holding a very precious thing but still light and sweet.

The truth is that she offers something that digital cameras cant offer , which is "face covering"... it feels so warm back there ... its just like pressing your cheeks toward the cheeks of a fresh born baby... it covers your face that you cant see anyone and so "you live your moment as you should".

God how much I appreciate those lonely moments I spent behind her lens ...

I used to think that my sensei is a freak because he is talking about her all the time that I have thought" If a Canon camera is a woman then he would ccertainly marry her!!" but now i see what he saw...

Oh sensei ... If you get to read this page I just wanna thank you from the depth of my heart for letting me lay my hands on her...

Arigatou Gozaimasu

I have to go ... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee