This really teases me!!! After all what I have been through ,,,, 6 years of working , many many courses everywhere with male colleagues and a year and a half abroad mingling with all kinds of people , and am still awkward around guys!!! As if I have just left my far far tiny village!!
What made me bring this up now? Well today we had an extra class , my students and I. The academy was closed and we had to wait outside for Fadi to come open the door. The boys came and we said Hello and the usual things then I found nothing more to say!! How is that even possible? I am sooooo talkative!! I can talk to a column , but still , then I ran out of topics and I went to the fire stairs and sat there reading!!
It was awkward!! You know what I am saying? Those are ''my boys'' I am there teacher and inside our classroom we are so comfortable dealing with each other. Still when I had to be locked out with them I was soooo awkward!
Sara says that it was awkward not because they were boys , but because they are doctors. They talked about ''doctors stuff'' and this is why it was hard for me to participate in the conversation.
I would like to think that this is true , but why do I get that tingling feeling in my guts each time I get to know new boys? Why does it sometimes take for ever for that feeling to go away? When it goes I just feel great ,,,, even better than when I am with girlfriends!!
Sometimes I wish I was a little bit more innocent ,,, you know , I wish I can see boys as innocent creatures, I just dont!!! I was raised to believe that men are evil , until they prove the opposite.
I dont really know , sometimes I think: What would have happened if I was raised in a different way? Anyway I was always able to spot the ''bad boys'' and have always been able to stop them in their tracks ,,,, I am strong - not trying to look good , am strong , actually vicious! - so Why on Gods name does this stupid stereotype cross my head and make me pause and hesitate?
Men are persons after all (Are they?)
Ps: In spite of all that , I would love to be -for a day or two- an idea inside a man's head. I would like to know how would it be in there.