Realizing

I was raised by the wolves I guess. I dont go through ''actual'' tormenting and impulsive feelings. Everything I feel is negotiable. I cant be sure if I am actually sad nor mad or even offended. I have a huge amount of carelessness and very wide imagination , I can always imagine what things would be like if other things were different ,,, you know , I can imagine other scenarios so I dont feel things strongly ,,, they might simply be something else.

And so I thought of you. I thought maybe I was not that in love. Maybe I was not that attached. Maybe its just a phase. I almost got to believe that it eventually evaporated and ended.

But today I saw a person playing with a letter as he pronounced it just the way you do, and I remembered you.

And I saw a person sticking his hands in his pockets and then lifting the pockets up as yoy used to do and I remembered you.

It is not that you only crossed my mind then , no , it is that your existence was reincarnated with a simple detail that's attached in my mind to you.

Death is so hard ,,,, so hard for the mortal insignificant human beings who cant understand it nor endure it ,,, it crushes my soul every single day ,,, I miss you