Its a classical Arab-Muslim feeling, to feel guilty when happy. You know, people everywhere -including in Jordan- are going through much, and I can still enjoy my earthy simply moments of happiness.
May God and Humanity forgive me for this.
Yesterday I had a rounded moment of happiness. I had a Oud class but my teacher could not come so he sent one of his former students to teach the class instead. My class has 9 students but no one of them showed up except for me! So the former student and I sat on the deanships entrance instead of going to the second floor.
He started teaching me a new scale. I was so worried. It was my first time to play infront of other people. We have always taken our class in a closed room with our teacher, no one has ever witnessed the great load of noise that we cause before we get to play something that sounds familiar. But for my surprise, the people were nice and those who watched us watched patiently , while the rest did not even watch.
I love it when Issa -the former student- plays infront of me. You know, it gives me hope because 11 months ago he was a beginner just like me but now he plays pretty well.
I knew beforehand that our teacher was not going to come,so I asked Nusaibah to call Afifi. He is a Oud player that everyone has told me about, and I did not get to meet him till last week, but have not heard him play yet. She called him but he did not pick up.
But then when we were on the deanships stairs he came. (I love when this happens, you try to set a meeting with someone and dont succeed, then you accidentally run through them) as he approached he said: Oh, this string needs tuning. And so he took my Oud and he asked: what are we doing? I was like ''we are in class'' so he started teaching me some things (I got worried again, he was fast and he thought I was catching up with him) he noticed my lost expressions heheheh so he played a song , then another and then another.
Along came Yahya, another good Oud player and he took Issa's Oud and so I was in the middle, Afifi to my right and Yahya to my left and Nusiabah infront of me, and they started playing great songs and we all sang.
I know I know ,,, I have mentioned many things like this lately, but yesterday was exceptionally great, Wallahi I felt tingling things in my arm!! I was so overwhelmed and extremely happy ... How can I put that in words? ....
Anyways afterwards I had a smal conversation with Afifi and I think am gonna come back with great news shortly =)