I am in Turkey (Yes Blog!! Things happen and I dont post about it because I am unbelievably lazy and somehow busy). I have been here for a month now, and today as I as sitting in the forest of Yildiz Saray (Enshalla I will post about is sometime during this decade) and I suddenly felt so weak, so tired and desperately missing Granada.
The forest looked like Alhambra forest and I just missed it so bad, and I felt like I am too old to adapt to a new country, to learn a new language and to work in a different "journalistic style" (and dont get me started in journalistic style in Turkey ,,, I will never stop) and I started looking for journalistic jobs in Spain on my phone browser.
I found some cool jobs in Madrid and they were actually well paid, I just wanted to flee the country and go back to my "habitus".
I just forgot about all the battles that I dont have to fight here in Turkey (basically cultural battles, not being the only veiled woman in a room, and to easily and magically find a place to pray whenever it's time to pray) and I just wanted to go back to Spain, and go on with my Hispanista life-long experience.
When I came back home, I was home alone cooking, and ranting to Nawaf on Skype about everything (I just enjoy doing this, and he is a good listener) when someone rang the door bell.
As I dont speak any decent Turkish I usuaully tend to ignore the door bell when the girls are not home, I looked through the peephole and I saw an old lady. I ignored the ringing and went back to cook, but she insisted ao I opened the door and I found our neighbor from across the hall holding two plates of sweets (the one in the picture).
She is celebrating Ashoura and she brought us our share!! My heart melted specially that the woman was extra nice to me when she found out that I am a foreigner and that I could not speak Turkish. She said some prayers in Turkish and closed the door for my as I was holding the plates.
She looked just like a nice old Jordanian lady, you know, she is not "The Other", she is just a nice old lady who shares a huge background with me although I cross her for the very first time in my life.
Her nice gesture touched me deeply, and she got me thinking.. I am still thinking and I dont know what to do with my life.
What I know for sure is that I dont want to go back home. That "Jordanian" ship has sailed. I dont want to live there anymore and I cant even handle it, but where do I go? what do I do?