Hay momentos cuando la música de fondo que rodea mi alma es un canto Flamenco triste y alargado. Hay momentos que son nostalgia pura y soledad dentro de mi propia piel. Hay momentos que tienen un solo remedio ,,, una sola palabra,,,, un solo lugar ... Hay momentos cuando todo es Granada.
It has been so long since I last sat to watch anything on a TV screen.
Ohhhh , I dont even know from where to start talking about this great absence of TV in my life, i cant imagine that I have survived all that time TVless ,,,God ,, God ,, God
Anyways , I am here to talk abut something else, which is Woody Allans movie "Everyone says I love You''. I did not get to watch it since the beginning but I loved all the parts that I watched.
The parts where a big family was shown, with half sisters and half brothers and a woman (Goldie Hawn) lived happily with her actual husband and kept a great relationship with her ex-husband (Woody Allan).
I also loved the parts where the narrator of the movie -one of the daughters- fell in love and out of love in no time and thought of each guy as ''the one'' . I adored how gently she picked up her hopes and moved to another story without regrets. But mostly I loved Woody Allans intense search for the perfect woman as he still had feelings to his ex wife.
This is what I love about Woody Allans movies , they are written in the most realistic tune. Sometimes in movies they present an idea to us as ''established''. For example: Y still has feelings for his ex-wife X. And thats not realistic , feelings are not fixed , they come and go and they changed. Those ideas are never fixed nor established. So the movie went on in a very smooth way showing us how everyone -at the end- kept struggling each day with the same questions, no surprising nor astonishing end , just the same questions over and over again being dealt with in a positive way and a true well to live.
Today I went to Irbed to Techno University to attend my uncle Mohammad's graduation seminar. It was one of those days,,, you knowm when everything is so perfect and energetic , I spent the entire day taping and taking pictures of people dancing and singing , but when I got to the bus on my way back to Amman I just felt the huge ''existential emptiness'' that usually comes after ''Big Endings".
Now I look around and I find my very two best friends flipping the pages. Maymoona and I were together and I felt like I have never actually ''realized'' the fact that she is married until today. (I spent the entire day with her) . I witnessed how does she move as a very very pregnant lady who is puffing and thinking about going home, and I saw her take 6 or 7 phone calls from her husband throughout the day and how she took them with a very good spirit.
And Mohammad is now graduating and he might be finding his way away from here ,,,and this makes me think -the very egocentric but valid question- :What about me?
How will life be from now on? We are becoming Grown Ups ... Are we?
You know what? I am bored. So God Damn bored to be explaining over and over and going on talking on and on about Palestine and about our sacred eternal right in that land.
I would understand that I will have to explain to the ''others'' to the Jews , to the Zionists to the west , but having to explain to the ''us'' is just preposterous.
Since when Qatar gets to decide the Palestinian map? since when Qatar gets to decide anything? Since is Qatar even a country!!
I dont know if there is anything to be said about how fast does tie pass us by , or about how amazing that city was, or how tiny does a person feel infront of that ridiculous amount of beauty and art.
I miss Barcelona a lot. I always think of it as an unfinished business. Enshalla I will go back and live with this city the story that it deserves.
This is the only thing that I can come up with for now ....
I dont remember in my life a spiritual pause as long as this one. I have been silent for two weeks now and I dont know what I may add, it just seems that everything has been said and that there is nothing more to be done or said except for clinging to Gods will and waiting for his consolation,,
Until then , I will write about usual stuff ,,, normal stuff ,,, stuff of everybody ....
A Linguist: simultaneous interpreter, translator and a foreign languages teacher. Spanish is the apple of my eye and Russian is my current purpose in life.
