Remember me? It's me Evaluna.
I shall confess that I was sucked into the shit whole known as Facebook. And yesterday I had a Facebook-comment-section-conversation with an old and dear friend-blogger, and we both agreed that we are letting our ideas drown in that drain, we don't get to document them, reread them, look at them and don't get me started on "having them read by actual audience".
I know that my blog isn't a rock concert, it had always had an intimate number of followers, but I am now convinced more than ever, that being read by total strangers who read thoroughly is better than being read by the so-called Facebook-friends who see only what they want to see and comment what they had in mind even before reading my post.
People are entitled to their crappy opinions of course, but I am just bored, drained and exhausted.
Yesterday I had to block my own mother :\ and it just struck me. I realized that maybe maybe, I am one of those who can't share their opinions "out there" with their identity totally revealed.
Blocking her was no smooth process, she got so furious and she yelled and cursed, but then, when I found myself on Facebook without her I found myself listing my name in a signed petition against the same issue that she was so offensive about (that led to me blocking her afterwards) I felt like a free animal in the meadows!
It's just stunning ... I love her and everything but I believe I got to that phase in my life where I feel like I'm bearing my mother on my shoulders all the time, and life just does not work that way. Her beliefs are fragile and I am young and strong, I can't keep tuning down my energy to pamper her set of values (that I don't share ,,, let's just put it that way!)
Offft, I was not supposed to go on an on about this, but this is what I felt like saying when I saw the broad Blogger window.
I really missed it here, and I feel bad for every thought that I didn't document here.
So for now, I am in my office, I got here 8 am, and I absorbed the silence, given that silence is one of the most underrated resources there is in the world. Now I am going to go stuff my head in my notebook and prepare my Hebrew class. I will come back with more Hebrew details in a post that I shall write soon.
Over and Out