Casa Cueva: Long Story Short for technical reasons

Blogger was broken for several days meanwhile I was having a true crush on a house in Granada. But until things were sorted out with Blogger , things ended with the house.

It was a cave house in Albayzin in th heart of Granada and a 9 minutes walk to the center , for 200 euros that include everything (water , electricity and comunidad) , I sent many many messages to my room mate to be, and we just clicked!! She is totally my type , artist , open minded , interesting and there are many things that she can add to me as a person and as a writer (exactly what I was looking for).

I was worried that the house did not have windows and that we had to pass through each others rooms to get from a point to another, because this is how cave houses are , a room leads to the other ,,,, there are no doors , only curtains and I was not sure that I can live with that.

I showed the pictures to both my parents , Dad said it looks good , as its cold in summer and worm in winter , but Mom said: there is something about it, I dont like it.

I had a feeling too , it kept growing until I prayed Estikhara and the next morning my room mate sent me telling that she had to let go of the house because the third room mate had to leave Granada to Alicante!!

I loved it in a way but it concerned me and so you do ,,, you

Crowdy crowd!!!

I need time ...

I need a moment , to stop this hassle , and pause

I need to think , to write my diary

to breath

I need to stop worrying about the visa thing

but the surprise is: I know from the depth of my heart that its not the visa thats worrying me ,,,

What is it?

I got an A!!!

I got an A ,,, I did not expect that ,,, (did I? My final was a roller coaster jajajaj)

Now expect a slight - I mean so slight- in my Average

From 3,61 to 3,62!!!

God , give me those ,03 before I graduate pleaseeeeeee

I miss Baghdad...

Although I have never been to Baghdad but there are moments when I feel like crying because I miss the Baghdad that I lived in songs , books and poetry ... I miss Baghdad when I miss my childhood , the clear truth , the clean love and the sweet longing to my childhood hero who always had an Iraqi accent and an arab face ,,,, I cant explain that but the longing is killing me ,,, I miss you , I miss you a lot ,,, is not that enough?

No Non-automatic Countdown anymore!!

There is no counter now ,, I dont know when I am leaving , as soon as I know I will restart although I dont think I will know many days before I leave ,,,a counter of 3 or 4 days maximum!!!

Look at my life!! A bit wilder than what I thought in my wildest teenage dreams !

Now or Never: Before the first day of September!

Wow!! Today I called International Relationships in my university ,and received an email form the scholarship people in which both stated that if i am not in Spain before the first day of September then the scholarship is going to be withdrawn!!!

Wow ,, wow ,, wow ,,, I was speechless for a while and then I made a call to a guy who once was in my class in Cervantes - have not seen him or talked to him in 2 years - he happens to be the brother of a guy in the Spanish embassy who always works with erasmus students and helps them out with their paper work. So I called the guy - feeling so bad because I would not have remembered him if I did not need him - and he nicely gave me his brothers number , so I called the brother and he was so cool about it and he said that I should call him next week and he would talk to them so they will issue it as soon as possible.

I am not worried ,,, I believe that a person would not take or live and experience if it was not Gods will , so , I will just pray and wait and let the best be chosen by God :)

khawater 6: In The streets of Granada

رجع الصهيل

و ها نحن وجهان في الليل

وجهك هذا الْ يضيء دروبي

و وجهي هذا الذي لوّحته شموس اشتياقي

إليك

يصلي لعينيك

حتى غروب الضياء

و حتى انتهاء المدى

عند باب المصير

زمان المحبين - د. خالد الكركي

I miss Cadiz

Ever since I have been to Cadiz in February 13th , 2010 I have considered the shore of the ocean of Cadiz ''My Happy place'' ... whenever I want to go to a safe happy almost perfect spot in my mind I would go back to Cadiz and gaze in the immense horizon.

I suddenly felt I miss Cadiz like crazy , I thought: I wanna go to Granada right now, put down my bag and go to Cadiz ,, run ,,swim , get all wet and happy and walk barefooted on the amazing thin sand.

I love you Cadiz I love you

Yesternight I had a dream ...

It was so simple , he entered our house without knocking, I was wearing my pajama and sitting on the ground infront of the TV. He passed me by acting so God damn normal and he said: try to study I will see what I can do with your exam ... He went inside and then when he came back he said: and write a research , try to write about the reasons behind the falling behind of Arab woman. He looked like he was making a conversation ,,, he was forcing it and then he waved and left.

When I woke up and realized that it was a dream I felt like there was a whole in the wall of my heart .... I miss him!! Why is that?!!! Am I crazy or stupid or unable to understand the signs?

Signs are rubbing themselves in my face and I just look the other way ,,, I am protecting my baby: my novel.

MY Mansaf: All mine :)

Today I cooked mt very first Mansaf ever!!! It was amazing ... Mom was in the living room I would go ask her about steps and then go do them ,, and whenever she tried to enter the kitchen I would tell her to leave because I want a 100% mansaf done by me.

listening to Falmenco by Miguel Poveda while cooking :)

Ta ta ta taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ,,, they liked it , I liked it and I think that now I can cook a Mansaf on my own for my dear friends in Spain : )

My Beautiful Islam: A song by Maher Zain

Look at the video ,,, this is my Beautiful Islam :)

A midnight freak out

Escrebí la carta y la envié a todo el mundo ,,, todas legaron salbo el suyo ,,, me sentí vacía y frustrada ,,, ¿por qué pasó esto? hay detalles en esta historia que yo no los puedo entender pero sigo hasta el fin ....

Visa: Officially solicited

Yesterday I handed all the papers for the visa.

Now we should wait 4 or 5 weeks

Baby Born!!! Mission accomplished

Farah was born this morning ,,,, Thanks my dear niece for not being born on my birthday...

She is nice ,, as nice as all seconds

Welcome Ramadan :)

Tomorrow is going to be the first day of Ramadan, So Ramadan Kareem :)

I love the Ramadan spiritual and social traditions , and I am going to watch Bab El-7ara because its a Ramadan must do no matter how dull it is hehehe .

Enshalla this time I will read Quran two times and I will pray Taraweeh each night... may this Ramadan be better than all other Ramadans of before , may I lose weight and may God accept our Duaa and our good deeds Ameen ameen ameen

Its My Birthday: Finally!!

Finally!!

Its the tenth of August , the longly awaited day , I dont know why but this year my birthday worried me. Why? Is it that I am really growing up? Noooo I am not I am not ,,, Maybe because of all the changes that happened around my band in university I was worried.

Yeah ,, this is the thing , I am feeling all alone: Again!! and it is not because I am traveling but maybe this is the person whom I am and there is no way around it. I always think that I hve finally landed in my ''perfect'' group of friends , but I finally end up heading toward the edge of the circle of intimacy until I fall out.

This time I have put all effort possible in my relationships with all the girls of my group. I worked on myself , my attitude and tried to be helpful , understanding , loving , and the furthest possible of being judgmental...We hung on for three years but now I would be fooling myself if I say that the strings tying us to each are not withering.

They are ,,, at first it really hurt me a lot ,,, I used to gaze around for an entire hour thinking about it, but now I think I understand.

Its a phrase that our teacher miss Inas told us last semester: In this life some people are timeless. So now I can look around me and easily classify my friends into two groups: timeless , and time full. It would never affect how I treat them , but I will just know where do they reside inside my heart and what exactly to expect from them , in order to avoid disappointments.

In a birthday people tend to be sensitive ,,, you know ,, the idea of ''not existing'' and then ''being born'' makes you consider your existence. So while considering my existence I came across the fact that I am an all time loner , and thats the way it should be.

I now also know that Mays is a fixed fact in my life , and a daughter that I did not have on my own but had and will always be attached to me, always be important to me and when I consider my existence next time I will see myself as the perfect shoulder for her to lean on and cry on.

I love you Mays ,,, I congratulate in my birthday , because in a day like this one 21 years ago a true friend of yours was born :)

How does it possibly feel that good?!!!

I was totally against my aunt getting engaged. I am always against everybody getting engaged and her being my childhood friend made me even more firmer.

But after spending more than half an hour taking pictures of her and him I suddenly realized how nice and kind and wonderful he is. I even felt that we already knew him and that he has always been a part of our family!!!

I am happy , I feel good abut it ,,,, the picture of above is the picture of their wedding rings ,,, Welcome on Board Monther san :)

Visa Stuff: I am enjoying it

Today Dad and I we went to ask for my Visa.

It was fast and stressing , though I loved it!!

We know that to ask for a visa we should have a health insurance and an initial booking of a plane ticket, so we went only wanting to make sure if we can apply without them because Universidad de Granada is out of office and nobody is sending us anything.

I always tend to hate asking people for things and the same goes for the embassy , but today we had to do our work with Carlos and he was surprisingly kind to us and he said that there were no problem not having those papers , as he saw a remark about them in the invitation of the University of Lund from Sweden.

We talked - Carlos and I - in Spanish , Carlos smiled at each granadian word I said and Dad was soooo Proud of me ,,, he said that it was ok if he did not understand a thing as long as I sound so Native heheheh

This time they asked for a 3adam ma7koomye , I dont what that is in English but we get it from ministry of justice. We went to ask for it and I knew -having a bag not a backpack- that I dont have my ID card.

We went to Kaser El3adel , my uncle who is a judge was not there but he called a friend of his who called a friend of his who attended us. The guy is just cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!! he is a charming Bedouin with a charming accent and that Bedouin tendency to help people in any possible way ,, but what can he do to a Jordanian citizen who wants to issue an official paper without an ID!!! My dad was mad for like ten minutes and then he was ok heheheh ....

That was hectic , fast but nice. I just enjoy going through the tiny corridors of ministries , streets and the time we spend my dad and I in the car singing along with Sa3ed ABu Tayeh the most traditional songs of all!!

On the way home there was a guy who gave us the road smiling to dad ,,, something squeezed itself inside my stomach , he was so cute as well ,, the cuteness of those whom you will never see again ...

I wish I can print out his face from my memory ,,, anyways it was a nice day

Hasta la vista :)

A cousin 20 days earlier than expected: Ahmad :)

Yesterday I suddenly had a new cousin!!

His mom was supposed to have him in a month from now , but he suddenly decided to come and he came!!

I love this boy already he makes decisions and everything :)

Thats him , almost 14 hours old

These are pictures of paintings put on the walls of the hospital where he was born, its a missionary hospital that reminds me so much of my first school -actually its the same missionary- Rosary Sisters ,,,, God those days were perfect ,,,, and the paintings are just amazing
And this is us piled in the room by Aunt Kawthar talking until 12 am heheheh ,,, she was in a good shape and she was so thrilled about her third boy as much as she was thrilled about the first two ,,, God bless him , may he be a good son and obedient to God :)

Welcome on board Ahmad :)