Cafe Bar Manila .... Just WOW!!

Tonight we had a very cute experience in Cafe Bar Manila ...

I had very different plans for the evening but Rasha came from her class and said that her friend said that a movie was going to be presented in some place close to Isabel Catolica.

While waiting I saw Alba , my student coming along with a friend of hers and hey were heading ti the same place. I thought it would be a theater or something but then the girl came and took us from Plaza Isabela Catolica to a an almost small cafe-bar ...

There was a bunch of people , different looks , different hair cuts , different languages , different accents and with the vegetarian + environment friendly ambient of the bar I felt like I was back in the seventies ,,, the movie was about human rights ,, this is what they said and so I felt ike am gonna be offered marijuana anytime heheheh ...

It was so easy to mingle with those folks!! they were very sociable , nice and they dont judge ,,,

I dont , but I have always felt around here that am being watched ,, you know people would always notice my as the ''arab'' ''muslim'' girl with the ''different outfit'' .. Tonight i got the magical feeling of being able to be lost among the crowd ...

Usually this kind of getting together's would make me a little nervous , but I dont know ,, I was very comfortable today ,,, I loved the place and the people ,, everything ...

They played the movie , Its name is ''Balseros" telling the story of the suffering of cuban citizens who wanted to go to USA illegally making ships and travelling in the ocean.

It was very sad , I dont want to say that adjective ''sad'' where I dont feel the hell that those people has gone through ,,, the scenes where they were separated from their loved ones , where they said good bye not knowing if they would meet again or not , it just reminded me of our eternal misery in Palestine when people used to listen a radio show where the ones who are still alive would send their greetings to their families wishing that they would hear them and know that they are still alive .

I remembered the scene from ''Tagreeba el Falasteenyye" when Rushdis mother called the radio exactly when he left the radio side and went to the street ,,, he lived his life wanting to hear her voice and when she did call his name he was not there to hear it.

Palestine the biggest wound of all ,,, the biggest cultural and historical robbery, it just came to me while I watched the pains of other cultures.

It was great and they have a cycle of movies that we are gonna attend in the coming weeks enshalla ,,,,

Rasha's tapas

Rasha and I all comfy on the red chair

Gran via looked different after spending two hours in the dark watching the movie.

Good night my Charming Granada

A very tricky Arabic class

Today I had this very tricky arabic class ,, my usual student Alba came along with a new friend of hers who was longing to learn arabic as well .

The other friend -Audrey- knew something of arabic from before and as the class went I started feeling troubled , I could not sync between the things that Audrey knew and Alba did not or the opposite ,and for a moment I thought that I should stop the class because it was a mess inside my head , and then I remembered an example I read many years ago that says: you will never get better on your bike if you stop cycling.

So I kept on cycling and guess what: I got the two of them to learn new stuff from me and from each other , I managed to give each one of them the information that she needs and after 1 hour and 15 minutes I paid attention that Alba now knows all the letter that form her name and she wrote it down for the first time in her life in ARABIC!!!

It was a big moment for both of us ,, for her as a learner and for me as a teacher :)

I am happy .. Alhamudillalh

Thats Alba and I

And this is the page where she wrote her name in Arabic for the very first time !!!!

Friendly Strangers: An evening in Konya :)

Tonight I spent many hours in Konya , I gave an arabic class and then made three friends from Pais Vasco ( Ider , Iker , Maitena) ,,, it was smooth and easy how we started the conversation and got to know each other and then left.

Also there was Antonio the creepy guy - I dont know why I call him that but he is kinda creepy- and he insisted on buying us something - me and alaa - and after saying no a few times he still insisted so I was like: what the hell!! If you will let me have my drink on my table without you coming close to my circle then why not , so we had Lemon and ment juice.

There is something about Antonio that makes me sympathize with him ... he is old and lonely and although he has the money ti be living in a huge mansion or ranch he prefers to live in Granada Capital and mix with the students.

Maybe he does not accept the fact that he grew old , but if I were him I would not have accepted it too ,,,, getting old is an experience that requires a true friend or a true love.

For the last days I was thinking about that ,, I do all what I can to keep the strings between me and the people I love , but it does not matter anyway ,, there are people whom no matter how hard you try to keep them they just fall out of your life. lovers and friends ,,,

So if God would help I would take some of Antonios shit , just in case I need Karma when I am as old and lonely as him.

Smiling alone on the bus stop

So yesternight I had a conversation with Laura my flatmate and she made me see something that I did not see before. A thing that am not gonna mention here for my own sentimental status , however I was waiting for people to realize a thing and I was mad they did not. Laura said maybe they are waiting for me to realize the same thing and they were mad I did not.

It was a matter of who would take the initiative and Laura said: why not you? and at 1 a.m I talked and I got a fast reply , a thing that I have not expected in the 8 months I spent being mad!!

The other day I was alone waiting for the bus , and as I looked at the things around me - the same things I see every time when I wait for the bus - I realized that I was smiling alone ,,, a smile that was pouring in all directions of my face , a smile that glows , twinkles and draws attention ...

I was happy ...

Like in ''child is happy'' ... I know that this is as good as it gets ,, it cant get any better , it just would not. But I accept it with a big heart ... a heart that loves God and believes in his wisdom and well . If thats what God wants then its the best for me and yes: I am happy for losing the best thing that ever happened to me.

You are gonna be missed ,,, or not

It is not over yet

I returned the bike!!!

I dont know ,,, or I know ,,, Yesterday I took a ride with the new bike , I was worried about everything , you know , falling in the street infront of everybody , looking stupid while trying to make this Bike thingy work ..

But when I went down the hell of my house I was flying in happiness and safety ,, I got an overwhelming nice and soothing feeling ,,

This is the concept of riding a bike ,, feeling like a child and a free soul , but when it came to the bike it just was not the one ,,, it was heavy when I fold it , and it folds in stupid way that takes space!!

I did it , in no time , I decided and took it back to Alcampo and I am relieved ,,,

I got the Bike!!!

After a long time going in rounds and looking for the perfect bike I finally got this one...

I went to where it was twice during the night and looked at it ,,, I was happy to have it but there is something about it ,,, what?

A nice painting

I just saw that in ''That 70's Show'' ....

This forms a great part of the person whom I am , not the person whom I turned to be , but its the form I was before anything got to me ... A human being who enjoys nothing more than a cup of coffee in a bar - cafe - bodega - restaurant that has a lot-few of interesting-boring - bored people ,,,

Nothing in the world beats that joy , and as long as this keeps giving me that pleasure then I am gonna be sure that my heart is young :)

Its Autumn :)

I love it

Minutes in front of Alhambra

Alaa and I sat today for 15 minutes in a stair in the way down from Alabyzin. We sat looking at Alhambra and I knew it: Those moments are just perfect... Although life is rarely perfect

As Healthy as it gets

Yes , this is my plate!!

My food sucks and lets just no talk about it :)

Carmen de La Victoria: I did go back

Today I went back to the Carmen de la Victoria ,,, I was soaked with that anxiousness about not knowing if I should be in the place or not , I tried writing a few lines and as I did not get any inspiration I left .

But I did go back and that by itself is a good thing :)

Cool or Attention seekers? The band of the Mirador

This band was today in the resturant near Mirador De San Nicolas ,,, they were patying something and so they caused a lot of hassle around the place ,, they played a couple of songs , played , shouted and goofed around and they were the center of everybody's attention - let alone mine- .... I loved the thing that they added to the scenery I got to wonder - the same wonder I always had- are they really that thrilled or they are just seeking attention?

And they also got me thinking about another thing , now the most two good looking guys of them started checking me out after a while ... I know that in Granada I am not the issue , its my Hijab and my dress but I also thought about it: it happened a thousand times before that a guy checks me out and then I look exactly to the other direction , so they also leave. I dont know why do I act that way ,,, really why? do beautiful guys scare me? I guess I feel stupid , and I feel that I am expecting something from somebody -which drives me crazy- ... I hate expecting , it puts me in a vulnerable position ...

If I know a thing about myself then I know that I dont want anything serious with any man in the world at least for the two or three coming years , and am totally against flings or temporary relationships ,,, but still there is a thing about my flirting attitude that is still mysterious even for me..

I wish I can figure out before its too late

Sinatra is BACK to life!!

You know , the way in which he puts his hand in his pocket as he sings alone makes me go crazyyyy... as it if it was not enough that he has that amazing voice, wonderful style but also he reminds me of the everlasting beauty of the ever lasting legend Sinatra ...

God less you Buble :)

Carmen de La Victoria: One closed door that is finally opened

Well there is not much to say about it, Carmen de La victoria is a building that belongs to University of Granada. I have always seen the closed door and never knew what was there inside , so today we rang the bell and they buzzed us in - who ''they''?- and as we wandered inside it looked like an entire maze to me , tiny stairways that lead to silent magical rooms of a very old building with complicated gardens ... there were tales and chairs , fountains , and then there was a guest house with a piano ... there were no body ,,, It was a but spooky just like everybody has disappeared until we found a guest that stays in the residency - inside the Carmen!!! I would pay a ridiculous amount of money to e living such beauty!!- and then we found a kitchen where they guy told us that there is a restaurant which is fully booked!!! and then I found a library with all the classics of Spanish literature ,,,Miguel de Unamuno Ramon Jimenez , Valle inclan ,,all the ooks that I always craved ,,,

If I ever go missing you just know where to find me ,,, Carmen de La Victoria :)

I am a woman, you know !!!

I recently found out something bad about myself: I am too Jovial.

People around me get so used to the idea that I am always laughing , talkative, energetic and happy that they take it for granted ,and when I am down for a tiny little while they just dont accept it.

I know how dull this sounds , but its true , as if I am supposed to be there 24/7 clown or else I am rude and brutal.

I normally hate writing down my negative feelings , coz I know they will pass but I am just writing it down to myself to remember to draw the line baldly and clearly between what I give because I should and when I give what I feel like giving. No one has the right to decide how I should be and how should I react to things specially when I always take my ups and downs to my room and lock myself in until I am fine because I believe in the sentence: ''My life is not my friends problem''.

It just makes me sick that the people whom I make laugh throughout the entire month cant understand when I get grumpy before my period!!! It just one day for Gods sake ,,, I cant help but quote Marlyn Monroe: If you cant take me at my worst , then you dont deserve me at my best.

And thats the end of it.

Praying on top of Petiswis !!!

After hanging out in the university all day we went back home with our french friend Marion. We spent a very pleasant after noon talking and eating. I got to see the french hospitality that really shocked me and I loved the view of Marions house and balcony.

But most of all I loved the cat of her roommate: Petiswis. Its a total freak cat who seems to ACTUALLY see another dimension that we dont see , its fighting with a shadow all the time and its such a delight to watch being so dumb and beautiful going around herself in her own imaginary circle.

In the picture above she was missing with the Shawl in which I was praying , she rubbed herself to my body in every moment during the prayer and she distracted me a little bit as I was going to step on her many times!!!

The Way back from Malaga

This is a video I took from the bus window on my way from Malaga to Granada.

There is nothing spectacular about it. Its just the normal views a traveler sees through the window , but still this is one of the things that assure me that I have a child's heart , a heart that never gets bored from the tiny little joys no matter how much they are repeated.

In my life I must have taken the trip from Amman to Irbid and vice versa more than a 1000 times , but I enjoyed each trip of them , I always thought along the road , I went over all my ideas , I assessed everything and smiled for the funny thoughts. I can never get bored in a moving vehicle , I cant concentrate reading and I barely sleep , but from the windows of moving vehicles I have looked through everything in my life , and this trip from Malaga was no difference , although two things were new:

1 they were the first 5 days I spend away without planning and without communicating with anybody.

2 I was losing in my mind in the bus station driven by love to be back in My Granada.

God Bless ...

Dr Miguel Hagerty: May your soul rest in peace

My teacher from last year Prof Miguel Hagerty died in the 26th of last September. He has always been in a struggle against cancer , in which cancer had triumph at the end.

That was three weeks away and I had a moment of silence when I read the news , but then I started worrying about a class I took with him that was never confirmed as ''passed'' and that he might have taken the secret of my class to his grave.

Today I went -as the schedule says- to the class he used to teach - the one I passed but no one has a record of it- just out of pure curiosity to know who would replace him. After a while in front of the locked door we realized that there is no class because there is no teacher.

It was then when I realized that he is gone ,,, you know: Gone , never coming back , leaving his place , his memories and the all the people who loved him behind.

I did not think about it this way... I was far away and his death was one more ring in the chain of absence , but when I was back in the faculty where he formed a very important part I felt that he has really really died.

Its 3 am , but I am feeling a strong urge to go visit his grave ,,, maybe tomorrow morning I will ... Maybe.

The picture above is the only one I have with him , and in that day I was so shy that I wanted to go home without taking it. Now I am thankful that I did.

May his soul rest in peace.

Ya rabb.

The song I heard in the bar in Atarfe

I was sitting in an empty bar in an almost abandoned village when I heard this song , and it filled my soul ,,, Libre yo soy Libre ,,, Free I am free ...

You bit I am

A smell from home

Today I received a bag that my parents sent me , it was full of spices . coffee and more colors of head scarves .... it smells like home :)

The ''Suit Up'' Musical: How I met your mother

Thats just way too creative!!! And Musicals are ... well MUSICALS ARE AMAZING!!!!

New Banner

An ethical dead end...with it or against it?

p.s: This picture was taken by me ,,, yeah ,, I am proud of it

About Islam: The same old boring stuff AGAIN

This is a comment I wrote after an article about Hijab , that was suggesting that all men wear blindfolds , all of it based on the idea that Hijab is all designed to detain mens urges:

A very well written article, but still misleading ,,, Hijab is not only about SEX unless you want it to be that way. Hijab is about social justice , where a less beautiful woman is treated equally as a beauty queen. Its about women's dignity where a man should treat her nicely because she deserves not because she is offering him a muse or giving him a pleasure. Its also about woman feeling OK while aging because they were always treated according to the person whom they are , and they would never feel that they are losing ''audience'' because they are as beautiful as they used to be .

Please before judging anyone try walking a mile in their shoes

I came to the point where I believe in one of two things

Number 1: People dont know enough about Islam and they have an entirely different lifestyle which makes Islam too wried to them >>> so we have to be so patient and understanding while we explain to them the tings that they dont understand.

Number 2: People are a little bit stupid, they would like to act as if they have an opinion about everything - you know this makes a person look intellectual- but they dont pay attention that sometimes they repeat things that they hear without REALLY thinking about them. This is the way how they react and Islam is no exception.

Hatred against Islam is not an option ... I believe that the world has other things to worry about and world population is formed by individuals , and I am sure there is at least one thing about Islam that would attract each individual.

But the option that does not exist at all is ''Islam has to justify itself so people would let it go'' ... Islam just does not have to , big smile :)

Carlos Quinto Nights with ''How I met Your Mother"

When I listen to this small short and nice music I automatically think about the nights I spent in the residency last year in Carlos V ,,, That was a time where life was perfect ,, really perfect ,,,

It used to rain a lot behind the window , but inside I would be covered with my rose shawl , watching some light doze TV and thinking about simple things , enjoying my loneliness and cherishing the silence of the charming corridors of the residency.

I might live many many years before I go back to living an era as perfect as that one , as clear , as wonderful and as liberating.

God Bless ...

The Little things that make me love my house

I love my house for too many reasons ...

I love it because I do , but here are some details that just drive me crazy about it :

The balcony has a steel wire hanging from the ceiling where I can hang my dresses so they will dry and not need ironing :)

The view outside the window at night is something that has just came out from a novel
Our cooker is funny , it turns pink then red!
The kitchen towel is so cute when its folded above the central heating radiator
The new spoons holder is shiny and exactly matching with the lemon squeezer ,,,,

My House is cuteeeeeee

I am proud of this picture

River Darro

I love how the water reflects the sun or it is the sun turning the water into pure light?

Roommates: shopping together

Tonight I went out with all my room mates to do the sopping...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ,,, Ok , I have still not found my prince charming but yes I did find my cute room mates ,,, we have HARMONY!!!!!!!!!! MAshalla ,... I am so happy

Casa Maeso: A happy place

Today I had lunch in casa Maeso with all the Maeso crew and a visitor from Salvador (have I ever met anyone from Salvador before?) and long story short: We had a blast.

When I go back in the tape of memories I cant recall the part where I started to hate ''getting together''s , they always make me uncomfortable and they arouse a special kind of stomachache that reaches its peak when I knock the door - or when somebody knocks my door- so , I always go really willing to turn back and go home,,, but today I lost the stress in a blink and before I knew it we were all talking that the room was really noisy , and everyone was trying to raise his/her voice in order to be heard.

Food was ,, well: Proper!!! Ever since I came here I did not eat proper food,,, you know: the food that is cooked by someone who knows what the hell he is doing ,,, It was so good and so god damn Spanish!!!!! Tortilla de Patatas with Salmorejo (wich I discover for the first time) and then flan , brownie and ice cream >>> Then I was not able to move for a while ,,, wow , is not that amazing!!! after all that hunger I am finally full!!

I loved the cute sparky cutlery

The Tortilla and cheese (Spain is somehow a cheese heaven for me)

Flan (Homemade!!! Am I a filthy consumer or something? )

Yummm yummmmm

THE Brownie ,,, hehehehe thats a funny story ,,, Andres was boasting about it ,, i loved it with the ice cream

Andres wearing the gift ,,,, He said: I find myself with the need to throw some rocks :p

Ana with her Shmag

I loved how the sun was rising on our way home after a long day of rain ... i love the chit chats we had on the sides with everyone , the way Maribel gets into seven different interesting topics in 5 minutes , and the wise voice of Paco and the big library in the back ground that makes the place so cozy. This family is definitely my spanish family.

J'attendrai : I will wait ...

I was trying my TDT and new USB. TDT is the system that receives Local TV signals in Spain and I saw it has a usb outlet , so I bought a USB from Malaga and I sat today to try it.

While jumping from a channel to another I came across a TV report about something - I got to see the last minute of it so i dont know what was it about- and a nurse in a nursery house told an old lady: sing that beautiful song that you always sing to us and she started singing,,, I got the chills and suddenly I realized that I can just press the record button and keep the video for ever.

I could only record 36 seconds but I was happy to have them ...

Later at the night , my dear friend Sarmad saw the song and gave me its lyrics and I looked it up in youtube and i found the original one:

Everybody is waiting ,,, everybody ....

My new home :)

Today I woke up lazy in my OWN bed , I have a flu and I was a bit dizzy but I was happy to be at HOME , my home where I feel ok being in the bed as long as I want , not having to prove anything to anybody.

Thanks to God ,,, I am Perfectly happy

First class given

I gave the first english class ever ... and I got 10 euros :)

I HAVE MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I wanna scream this from the top of my lungs: I walked by the ATM and out of pure curiosity I checked my account and it had 2000 euros that I did not expect!!!

I have money!!!!

الـ"جيد"ا

كنت أريد أن أقول هذا من قبل و لكنني لم أفعل، تبعاً لنظريتي بأن كتابةالأشياء تجعلها حقيقية و راسخة .

كنت أشاهد مسلسل

Amor en Tiempos Revueltos

و شاهدت اللقطة التي تعرّفت فيها البطلة على زوجها. كانت خارجة للتو من مخيمات التعذيب الالمانية و ذهبت لتعمل في بيت هوى في باريس ، و في أول ليلة لها تعرّفت على شابّ من موظفي السفارة الغواتيماليّة ، أخذ يتحدّث معها ، و طلب منها أن يستمرّا في الكلام، لأن الكلام مع امرأة مميزة مثلها شيء ممتع بحد ذاته.

و بعد ذلك تزوجا. فقط. و الشيء الذي يربط بينهما عميق و راسخ و حقيقي. و رغم أنه قد لا يبدو شيئا مهماً أو واضحاً بالنسبة للآخرين إلا أنه بالنسبة لهما الشيء ذي الثقل الأكبر في كل تكوينهما.

ما أشعر به في هذا البيت يخيفني. و هذا الكلام لا علاقة له بالأشخاص الذين أشاركهم السكن ، و لا بما مررنا به حتى الآن – هذا هو يومي الرابع هنا – و لكن لأن كل شيء "جيد". لا شيء ممتاز . جيّد.

الموقع جيّد، الأثاث جيّد، حركة الهواء جيّدة ، أدوات المطبخ جيّدة و لكنني لا أشعر بالبيت ينظر إلي عندما أنظر إليه ، و لا أشعر بالطاقة تختصُّ بي أنا شخصياً...

طاقة البيت جيدة، و لكنها كانت لتكون هكذا بالنسبة لأي ساكنة سواي .

هذا لا يعني أنني حزينة أو مكتئبة أو منطوية ، أنا فقط جيدةز و هذا بحد ذاته ليس سيئاً، و لكنني انهمكت في البحث عن بيت منذ شهر أيّار ، و اتصلت على الأقل بمئة شخص طيلة هذا الوقت، و اتصلت بالكثيرين هنا و عاينت عدة بيوت و في النهاية اخترت هذا البيت.

قبل أن أوقّع العقد شعرت بالرغبة ولأكثر من مرة بأن أتصل بصاحبة البيت ، و ان أطلب منها أن تبحث عن غيري ، و ما كان هذا ليكلفني أي مبلغ ، و كان بإمكاني أن أبقى في بيت مريم أو رنا أو حتى في فندق ، و مع ذلك لم أتصل و ألغ العقد.

هل هذا هو "النصيب" الذي يتحدث عنه كل الناس ؟ "النصيب الحرامي" الذي "يجن" فيجعلنا نفعل أشياء لم نكن قد فكرنا بها من قبل ؟

هذا البيت لا يهمني . لا يهمني بمعنى أنه مسألة هامشية و على كل حال لن تدوم لأكثر من تسعة أشهر . و لكنني فقط أفكّر عندما أجلس على الشرفةة في الليل ، إن كان من الممكن أن أجلس ذات يوم إلى جوار رجل "جيد" ، و أرى أنه مجرّد "مسألة وقت"؟

لهذا فقط أنا خائفة ، و ما سوى ذلك أنا جيدة

الخميس 16 – 9 -2010

The german guy of the Locutorio

So today I was sitting in the locutorio trying to chat with my parents but all computers were stupid and did not work , and I had to change my pc many times until I sat next to a guy , who has a long blonde beard and a face full of peace. He was wearing Sunna short dishdashe and he was watching youtube videos of a Shiekh who looks like the sheikh in the picture.

He was watching with so much care , and he was enthusiastic ,,, I could not help but ask him stuff , he answered me without looking at me : He is german , he converted to Islam 7 years ago and he doeas not have a ''converting breathtaking story'' , he said: I converted to Islam because Islam is natural.

He was a bit mean , you know , not making any type of eye contact and hardly giving full answers to my questions and not asking anything back , but he was a delight , seeing him that enthusiastic after seven years gave me hope and refreshed my heart .

Hope I would see him around again ,,,,

Never been that troubled before

My friend changed an option in my laptop connection and now it does not connect on any wireless network unless the damn thing is attached with a cable to the router!!

That was two days ago , now it does not even connect with the cable plugged

I moved to my house and my house does not have internet

it would not connect in konya

and when I went to an iternet shop to skype with my family all the microphones did not work!!

An entire hour that costed me a Euro - I only have 30 euros till the end of this fucking month- i could not make them hear my voice , i can hear them but i cant reply ,, , I am frustrated , I feel totally disconnected from everyhting .,...

Whats Gods plan? I really wanna know , because I dont like the whole thing of Spain this time , and I almost hate this house , its just bringing me bad luck !!!!

A House not yet a Home :)

I went yesterday after posting my last post to the other house , and as I got there I was surprised with how clesn the house is!! It is not ''Spanish clean'' , but its ''Jordanian clean'' no offense but we do have different concepts of what is a clean and tidy house ...

The house looks like a house of a family , not like the other pigstys that they offer for students , when I got into my room it was so god damn clean!!! I could not care less about the window that overlooks the lavadero (at least the lavadero has a window) . Mari Angeles the landlord, showed me around the house with her amazing style of talking , laughing and making jokes.

Her husband was there too , his name is Paco , such a delight!!! he was fixing things around the house and when I told him about the water hose I wabt to install in the bathroom he immedeately got the idea becuase he said he saw it in a hotel somewhere !! (Really! where? they stopped installing them in the 5 stars hotels of Jordan ,, oh yeah , tell me how sore your butt is gonna be without this magical invention and then we can talk about all the stars!).

I saw only two of the 4 roommates , MArta an dTeresa , the other two where not home . The balcony is just great with a lot of air , really high in the sky and it overlooks a very neat and clean street -camino de ronda- , so to be honest: I did not feel a magical vibe. You know? I t was fine , I loved the place , the peopl , the idea of having not only 1 or 2 or 3 roommates but 4 and the four of them are from Andalucia!!! its what I craved since the beginning , and I liked how clean and perfect everything is ,,,

SO I told Mary Angeles if I should pay insurance and she said yes ,,, I was like mmmm , I told her I should make a phone call and then I will call you and tell you if I am taking the house or not ,,,she was ok with it and I left.

On the sidewalk I called my friend Meryam and asked her if she can lend me the money and she said yes right away , so I called MAria again and told her that everyting is set. She said that I can come to the house today at 7, so I would pay her the money and she would take a copy of my passport and she will hand me the contract on Monday enshalla.

I got a little worried over the night ,,, Its commitmnet I guess , and who ever said that commitments are easy to commit with heheheheh , I prayed durong the night asking God to guide me to whats best for me and Enshalla everything is gonna be great.

Camino De Ronda : WATCH OUT HERE I COME :)

I think I found my house

Today I was serious about getting over with the housing issue , so I got to the street on the morning and I collected phone numbers from ads and I started calling and visiting right away.

I think I walked almost 5 kilometers going around the entire city from an apartment to another , the first one was good except for my room and I received a negative vibe from the girl who was showing me around, the rent is expensive: 200 euros , no internet and no central heating>>> out

The second house , was situated in an amazing place where I have always wanted to live ''Gran Capitan'' but the girls living in the house were two Moroccan girls and a German girl , the girl told me that before she opened the door and I felt like: Ok I wanna turn my back and leave now ,,, I want to speak Spanish as much as possible , so No, and when I got in the NO got bigger because the house was disgustingly tiny and my room is exactly a match box with a tiny mat and a huge bed - or maybe the bed is fine but the room makes it look big- and add to that , that the bathroom has no ass washing devices which is ultimately disgusting >>> No

I went out and sat in a park and collected more numbers and called , I had an amazing call with a woman who owns a ahouse that has 5 rooms , 4 o fthem have girls from Andalucia: Cadiz Cordoba and Malaga , which is amazingly great for my language , she said that the house is good but my room is interior - its windows overlook the inside of the building- so I was like: mmmm but we have a date tonight at eight to see how this works out for me .... I was so thrilled over this house with the big number of people in it but in spite of that I collected more numbers and called just to have fun and enjoy the process ... three houses had guys in them , two houses were already rented and two did not pick up. Then I called a house which was far "Plaza de Torros" and they said I can come over and see the house.

I thought a couple of times in my way to the house that I am too tired to keep on walking so I am just gonna forget about this house , but I was shy to turn people down keeping in mind that they waited for me for 45 minutes.

I got there and the sister of one of the residents picked me up from the street ,,, she has an amazing warm welcoming face that made me feel comfortable right away. I got to the house - which has the cheapest rent of all 137,5 euros- it is almost ''little'' but very airy with a big balcony half of it faces the salon and the other half faces my own room!!!! I was through the roof when I saw that my room has a balcony of its own, and when I got inside the room I liked the bed and the TWO tables!!

The bathroom has two seats , one of them is for cleaning the devices !!! Just like the ones we have in Jordan!!! I did not see the other two girls but they told me they are from Cordoba and Toledo and they talk a lot - which I need - ... I left feeling so happy , under the house there is a lot of bars and a lot of people moving but no cars noise ,, there is a grocery store a Chinese shop a crossan shop and there is a ''Dia'' in the back ,,,,

I am going in few hours to see the other house with the 5 rooms - 170 euros monthly - and I am a little bit reluctant but I think I will just need to see my room that overlooks NOthing and then I might be able to decide once and for ever heheheheh

I have a good feeling :)

Men: All Generlizations are wrong ,, oh yeah

Well I was looking for some other picture but I found that this one is just fine.

Men are insecure and thats the end of it. I hate generalising , its a very unacademic kind of attitude but this is how I saw it throughout an incident that happened to me recently.

Men like to think that women ar enot reliable , weak , reluctnat and unable to take lif decisions.

And I think that this is right in a way - but of course not the way men see it- . I have seen a lot of my dear arab sisters who are pampered ,, really pampered , they dont wory about a thing and there is always somebody to take care of things. This is good for a specefic extent and then it becomes a tomb where a womans abilities are being burried , and when they end up in a situation like mine : many miles away from home and without anyone they know among reach they frek out.

So what? is not that just natural? A human being who has never done his\her work is now asked to do everything on his\her own, so what if he\she screw up a little? get things mixed out or lose control?

ITs just disgusting how some men forget the phase of ''not knowing'' ... they forget that at some point they knew nothing and they wre just like the pesron they are mimicking now!!!

I am mad ,,,, a man talked on the back of girls whom I dont know , but I feel so sorrey for the way this dumb ass sees them , feeling all mighty and knowingly above them . Shame on you ,,, oh really shame on you

ِAbu Lela

I usually dont post on the walls of facebook groups. I just read what others say and thats just it. But as I am lately watching ''Abu Janti'' series and I really like the character of Abu Lela , so I found this group for him and I posted on its wall a phrase that really made me laugh.

اشتري خبز و وزع على روسا

A minute later I got a notification that the group administrator commented on my phrase , for a stupid reason I got a little bit nervous heheheh , he just posted a looool ....

This reminds me of an old history I had with internet and especially discussion forums where comments really used to irritate me and make me self conscious about my own opinions. When I look back at that era from my life - that lasted for 5 years- I realize that I would not have been the same if it was not for it , but still it reminds me of all the cruelties people are able to do to strangers ,,, why were they so mad at life and so determined to pull all their mental sicknesses on the weak - me- ?

My house: Is not the one :s

Ok ,, I went to the house , I spent the evening , ate my food spent the night watching neighbors and slept the rest of the time.

Then I had a funny feeling : The house is just disgusting and the amount of effort I should put in cleaning it is better put in another thing. Things happened with Alaa's mum and so I was sure that its not the one for me.

I so desperately wanted it to work out but it did not,,, It did not