A Glimpse of My Phone

Yesterday, my brother brought back my phone from the store. I don't recall being as happy for a "thing" as I was happy then! I was jumping up and down, I felt I was reunited with an entire galaxy (does the name come from there?!) I did not even bother to put my sim card in it, I just went checking all the messages on my WhatsApp (now that I don't have Facebook, it was my only way to communicate with the outer world) and I went on checking the classes that I missed on Coursera, the articles that I did not get to listen to on Umano, and I did all of that while listening to Mozart on Calm Radio application. (I even lost track of my hormonal cycle, so I updated my information on My Days application).

I watched half an episode of Seinfeld and I slept all happy and glorious.

Today, as I came back from work (in Sahab) I moved the sim card, and I made a call to the office, and there was Mahmoud talking, I could hear him, but he could not hear me. I hung up, called someone else (wishing that it was mahmoud's phone's mistake) but No, the microphone was disconnected!

Abu Khreisat wanted to talk to me, I sent him a message and explained why I can't pick up, so he sent a message saying: Pick Up, I'll tell you what I want and then respond with a message. He wanted me to cover Jordan University's elections for Alghad Newspaper, I was excited but he could not hear my excitement.

I felt muted myself.

When I went home, I called my brother, and with all the world's disappointment, I told him that the microphone is disconnected and he came and sent it back to the store.

I know how childish all of this sounds, I know that there are bigger struggles in the world, but I am a freaking INTERPRETER I can't function without my Wikipedia search, Google search, UNterms, Almaany Dictionary even Google translator... I keep getting mini heart attacks when I am wandering down the street, I hear a word, I find out that I have no equivalent for it and I die a little inside as I can't check it right then right there.

Prayers for my cute phone.

Ps: The painting up there, is titled: Glimpse of the sea, Long Island, by Albert Julian Onderdonk.
Check the rest of the paintings here.

Your Face In The Rear Mirror

Each time we are in a taxi and you sit in the front seat and dwell in that road silence, I steal of glimpse of your face in the rear mirror.

 I gaze into your face features, I remember the time when you were a total stranger, and the times when you were "one of my friends", and I just skip a heart beat when I realize how you moved from That to being You. 

The face that I love the most, and the face that makes me feel alive and gives a sense of meaning to the rest of my life aspects. 

You are my favorite stranger, my best friend and the only thing that embodies my fear of the future. 

Long Story Short: Belief and Atheism

So, it is Elections time in Jordan University again. It is a season that I used to love, maybe I still do love it, but not after I realized that it is always transformed into a silly parade of beliefs.

A  student elections -in an ideal world- must have something to do with a students program, academic strategies, extra curriculum activities and delivering services for students. It should have nothing to do with how "religious" are you, how "God fearing" you are, or how atheist can you be.

It is just preposterous how students are designed in a way where the world is divided into two: wither they are members of the Muslim Brotherhood, or they are filthy atheists. While for the other party, the world is divided into two: Cool liberal people, and religious scumbags who are not worthy of life.

I don't even want to go deeper into the topic, because each time I go in a conversation with either parties it stuns how little they know about each other, as if each one of them is living in a separate continent. They are both full of prejudgments, stereotypical ideas and it does not stop there, but it goes to moral defaming: Both want to prove that the other is immoral, hypocrite and thoroughly dirty, and for this they use a scandalous tune where they want to socially cross out the other.

I used to be a religious person -"by the book" kind of person- and then I started thinking about things, and I started modifying my way of life based on what I came to understand, rather than what I was "raised to be", and this puts me in the very uncomfortable shoes of religious friends opening up to me, cursing and criticizing an atheist -or someone simply not as religious as they are- thinking that I have the same views as them.

So this last Thursday one of those friends, asked me to explain to her "what does an atheist person believe in, and what makes them strong in this battle in life". I paused, for different reasons, first because I always sensed some kind of inferior treatment towards me from this specific person based on the fact that the "so sacred things" for them are not that sacred for me, Second because I felt lie there is plenty of other people who could answer the question, and there is no need for her to shield herself with me if she actually wanted to get the answer for her alleged question.

Most importantly, what disgusted me, was that the question was a result of a conversation this friend had with other girls in the faculty who present themselves as atheists, and their only argument was: we are not voting for Muslim Brotherhood candidates because they are going to draft a law the obliges girls to wear a uniform to university, and headscarf will be obligatory even for christian female students!

It is those shitheads who bring bad name for atheism, where an atheist is perceived as someone who is scared of wearing long sleeves.  

I know this is gonna sound cocky when I say it, but I am gonna say it anyway: I don't believe that it is acceptable for 20 years old people to go around saying: I am muslim and proud, or I am atheist and proud. Simply because they are toooo freaking young to have such an enormous question sorted out, and if I may add: it is even worse for the religious ones, because they are backed up by an entire culture, system, society that tells them that they are RIGHT, which makes it extremely hard for them to think one inch outside the box.

And to wrap this post up, and in spite of me not having to explain anything to anybody, but still I want to post this quotation from an Amin Maalouf book that simply describes what I believe in.

“لستُ من أتباع أي دين، ولا أشعر بالحاجة لأن أصبح كذلك

وموقفي من هذه المسألة غير مريح لا سيما وأنني لا أشعر بنفسي ملحدًا كذلك. لا أستطيع أن أؤمن بأن السماء فارغة، وبأنه لا يوجد بعد الموت سوى العدم. فماذا يوجد وراء ذلك؟ لا أدري. هل يوجد شيء ما؟ لا علم لي. أرجو ذلك، إنما لا أعرف؛ وأشعر بالريبة إزاء من يدعون المعرفة، سواء كانت أشكال يقينهم دينية أم ملحدة. 

إنني في منزلة بين الإيمان وعدم الإيمان مثلما أنا في منزلة بين وطنين، ألاطف هذا وألاطف ذاك، ولا أنتمي لأي منهما. لا أشعر بنفسي غير مؤمن إلا حين أستمع إلى عظة رجل دين؛ ففي كل عظة، وكل إشارة إلى كتاب مقدس، يتمرد عقلي، ويتشتت انتباهي، وتتمتم شفتاي لعنات. غير أني أرتعش في أعماقي حين أحضر مأتمًا علمانيًا، وتتملكني الرغبة بدندنة تراتيل سريانية، أو بيزنطية، أو حتى ترتيلة القربان المقدس القديمة التي يقال إنها من تأليف توما الأكويني. 

ذلك هو درب التيه الذي أسلكه في مجال الدين. وبالطبع، أسير فيه وحيدًا، بدون أن أتبع أحدًا، وبدون أن أدعو أحدًا لأن يتبعني 

التائهون - أمين معلوف 

Cast Away: Unacceptable!

Call me a teenager who has no sense of reality, but I find the end of "Cast Away" movie unacceptable.
Although the film was released 14 years ago, but I have never seen it before tonight. I had a general idea of how things are going to go in the movie, but I wonder how none of my friends who has seen it before me, never came to mention what happens between Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt.

Is it just me, or is it actually THAT important?
I loved how the movie went during the time he was stranded on the island, I believe that much could have been added to the scenario to give it more life and depth, I felt that a huge potential was wasted, because Tom Hanks did and incredible job and could have done an even better performance if there had been more details into it.

But all in all I liked and I was not as mad as the critic in The Telegraph:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturereviews/10514113/Cast-Away-2000-original-Telegraph-review.html

But even that, did not make any mention of the ending, (Spoilers Alert) after 4 years of being stranded he came back to find his sweetheart married to another guy with a baby!!

He went to her house at night because he could not add one night to the pile of nights he waited to see her face again.

 For some reason I thought that she was going to leave her husband for him, my mother and grandmother gave the racist remark of "she might as well do it, their marriage is not as sacred as ours" so I had to reply (although I always prefer to keep my hidden agenda, well Hidden!): No no, it is not an "us" and "them" thingy, I would totally leave the man whom I conveniently married and go back to the love of my life" (Silence)

I can't yet finish this entry without bowing in respect for the last scene, he just stood at a crossroad and thought of the possibilities available ahead of him and the movie just ended. It gave me a clear feeling of vanity, that things (most probably) don't go as we want them to, and if we don't learn to enjoy the little moments of cosmic peace, then we will dwell in the pain of losing the great battles, which is in this case, Chuck losing his Kelly.

Finally Meeting The Naser

I must have known Naser for more than ten years, I am positive that it was some time between eighth and ninth grade.

We were both Majoobian, which I consider the biggest Jordanian social network, way before it became a "thing" and wayyy much before Facebook was invented (or was it? But I was too retarded to know how to deal with it?).

So I was in a cafe in Lwebde with Nafnaf, Ali and B-san and from across two tables I heard my name, and there he was, Naser!It turned out that he had a voice hehehe, all of those years I never phonetically imagined him.

I must be thankful to the dear internet (who just turned 25 years old) that turned technical strangers into real good old friends. I was THRILLEDDDDD

Peace and Lwebde (",)

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All The Way 

Thus Spoke Jerry Seinfeld

Read those words of wisdom of Jerry Seinfeld



See, each man and each woman actually does have an owner's manual. Nothing's written down anywhere, but the directions for operati on of an individual in a relationship are detailed and specific nonetheless. So when you start out with someone, you're essentially driving a strange car for the first time and none of the controls are labeled. So the wipers can come on at strange times, sometimes you stall. On top of that we've all met people with bad steering, no brakes, needs a muffler, headlights a little dim, too much in the trunk, not enough under the hood, prone to backfiring, won't turn over, and just plain out of gas. Which is why when people get ready to get married they so often seem to choose basic transportation. It's simple, it's reliable, and it gets you there. That's important on a long trip. 

*****

Men seem to flip around the television more than women. Men get that remote control in their hands, they don't even know what the hell they're not watching. You know we just keep going, "Rerun, that's stupid, he's stupid, go, go, go." "What are you watching?" "I don't care, I gotta keep going." "Who was that?" "I don't know what it was, doesn't matter, it's not your fault. I gotta keep going." "I think that's a documentary on your father." "Don't care, what else is on?" Women don't do this. Women will stop and go, "Well let me see what the show is, before I change the channel. Maybe we can nurture it, work with it, help it grow into something." Men don't do that. Because women nest and men hunt. That's why we watch TV differently.

The End of A Brave Phone and JU ID Card

Two Mondays ago I innocently went to JU Library's bathroom (who does not go "innocently" to the bathroom anyway?!) I had -sorry for the non-delicate language- a very pressing need to run to the bathroom, and as I was getting ready to leave I heard something fall and when I looked I saw my lovely Samsung Note 2 half drowning in the whole of the eastern toilet!!

You know that moment when you say: That can't be happening to me!! Those are the things that usually happen to "others"! My phone was covered in shit!!

I picked it up, without thinking about the huge disgust of going through shit, I wanted to save it.

It started turning on and off and it went mad. I turned it off, cleaned it with a paper towel and turned it on again, but No nothing. So I turned it off and decided to leave it for an hour or two maybe if it got dry that it might work again.

But nothing. I took it to the first shop I found (like rushing with a bleeding person into the first hospital you find). I went for it the next day and the guy said that he changed the mother board, but the screen was burned up and that I had to get it changed.

I gave it to my brother, and now we are in the process of finding a some how cheap screen, because when we asked around we found none cheaper than 140 Jd's!

What can I say about such an experience? I lost a good amount of money, I am going to lose even more, my phone now can't be sold for it has been opened and fumbled into, everybody says that it won't get back to normal, and now I had to go back to my old Motorla, I have no internet access, no reading applications, no radio channels and most importantly NO DICTIONARIES!

And to seal the deal, a couple of hours after I rushed my phone into the shop I discovered that my Jordan University's ID, the one that has helped me through the electronic gates for more than 7 years, 2 of them after I actually graduated has slipped into the bath hole and is lost for ever :(

I never thought I will lose it, it meant so much to me and I always kept it in good places because I always knew that if it gets lost it can't be replaced.

And whenever anyone asks "what happened to your phone" they always follow it with: What were you doing with your phone in the bathroom anyway.

On a side note: After being faceboo-less, now I am What'sApp - less and I feel socially concealed, and I got that going for me :)

Estoy Perdida!!

This is the screen I have been getting during the last 4 days each time I try to watch the Spanish Series "Aida".

It is written in a very funny way, but it is not funny!! I work sooo hard, and I come home terribly tired and I deserve to get my 50 minutes of Spanish humor.

Get it fixed pleaaaaaaaaaaase!!

Ps: Withdrawal symptoms detected :p