It has been 9 months

Today I completed 9 months in Spain.

It has been a very long time , and am not gonna say that time passes me by so fast, because then I would not be honest.

Those were the longest nine months of my life , in which I laughed and cried , I felt so lonely, I read , I wrote , I gazed in the horizons , I traveled , discovered new cities and new places inside me own soul.

I am not surrendering but am ready to go back ,,, I wanna go back ,, I have been alone and getting to know a lot of things in a rush. I need to be back home , taken care of , and giving all that mess some time to take its place inside my soul.

Ya Rabb

They Gave up on Reggie

Spoilers Alert!!!

As the fifth season started Reggie took her things and took off to Miami! Just like that and never came back ,,, I have had an idea about that when I over read in Wikipedia , but I thought at least that people in the show are gonna be like: Oh Reggie , we miss her , I hope she had bee her now ,,, or any of that crap , but nothing!! She left with no trace!! And more they replaced her with a hyper active ,good hearted , giving all energetic and optimistic character named Chris!!

God , I hate changes I hate them I hate them!!

He is a total shame and we all pay for it!

http://www.20minutos.es/noticia/1063325/0/velo/marido/vecina/

I saw this article right before I went to bed. Why do I keep doing this to myself!!

So here is an article about a Moroccan woman who lives in Lleida - Catalonia reported her husband because he used to hit her and oblige her to wear hijab when she goes out on the street . She also said that he prohibited her from talking to people, looking them in the eye and not even learn proper Spanish.

Yeah , its sad I know. I hope no woman will ever be hit or treated meanly . I pray for that from the depth of my heart but when a piece of news like this one goes out all fingers are automatically directed towards Islam.

The news itself did not bother me as much as the comments beneath it. Now really , can poeple be THAT ignorant? That stupid? do they believe that an ideological system would preach hitting women and treating them as an inferior member of society? Who believes that? Where does people get the nerve to judge without coming closer to the case?

People just read the news and they were like: ''Hijab must be banned in Spain'' , ''France did well by banning this discriminating and segregating insulting symbol'' ... and the worst of all: Now tell me that all muslim women wear Hijab because they want to not because they are hit and held prisoners inside their houses if they dont.

I feel totally sorry for this woman , but I went to bed thinking about two things:

1- Did she think about me? Did she think about all muslom women who have to go out to the world everday fighting a very unfair steotype that insults them as entities. Did she think about us? did she feel sorry about us? I am not saying that I want her to be hit and sit back an take it. But I just wanna know if she thought about us , or she just went back the fake light of ''The Spanish Women Freedom'' .

2- What did go wrong in our thoughts, our understanding and application of Islam , what went that wrong in our societies that a man would feel comfortable laying his hand on a woman!!!

What went so wrong , so people act in a foreign country and not wonder one minute about the deformation of an entire nation that they are causing.

God I am so mad , I can go on talking for ever, but I am so sorry for my Islam. Its a great - I am not saying the greatest - life system, its coherent , its logical and full of love, still each time a stupid muslim person -every group has its bad sheep you know!- acts wrongly the entire dogma gets accused.

I stopped caring , long time ago about what others think , because in many occasions its almost impossible to make people even hear you , but Enshalla I will work along with my friends and my family to clean my our faith from corrupted ideas and Enshalla we will keep our Islams name as shiny as it should be.

Messi and Guardiola: The two pieces of puzzle

Spanish:

http://www.mundodeportivo.com/20110522/fc-barcelona/de-pep-a-leo_54158488081.html

English:

http://www.totalbarca.com/2011/news/from-pep-to-leo/#more-76980

This is a good article , and I found on english too. Enjoy :)

Midnight in Paris: Finally! A movie that takes my breath away

After all that time in Spain , and after all the money I wasted on silly movies , after all the disappointments in the darkness of cinema theaters today I got my compensation .

I went to Multi cines in the city center , and the room was so full that I said to myself ''Well this ought to be good, or else all of these people are gonna be disappointed''.

I got there before my friend so we got separate seats , and I sat next to the coolest stranger: He does not fight for the seats arm , he does not chew loudly , he laughs about the exact same things that I laugh about , and he said a cute Adios when he left.

The movie was just amazing!! At least for my taste .. some people might get really bored watching this because it requires knowing a bunch of information before in order to be able to relate to the characters and feel the pure comedy.

It tells the story of an american writer who goes to Paris with his fiance and her family, to prepare for the wedding and arrange his ideas for his first novel. He goes for a walk at night and a car stops and takes him back in time where he gets to meat all his favorite writers and artists and actually talk to them and get their feed back about his novel.

It was just a great movie in a great timing in my life. A reminder of whats most important in my life and a thing to think about each time am afraid to take a step forward towards the unknown. The unknown that might give life's best lessons.

A great great movie , I highly recommend it.

Los Girasoles Ciegos

Well well well ,,, Its another Spanish movie that leaves me (lets see) leaves me confused. I dont know what am I supposed to think (I hate to use this phrase , but sometimes you feel like you were ''supposed'' to receive an idea that somebody else was supposed to send).

A priest falls in love with the mother of one of his students, who is supposed to be a widow. But the fact is her husband is still alive but running away from Franco , because he was a writer with an ideology that clashed with Franco. He lived in a hole inside the wall of his closet.

The movie had its great moments , when the child had to act like an orphan , and cover the existence of his father , and when the father cried and hit walls suffocating and longing to go out and see the sun light again.

The way the movie ended was disappointing -this is getting usual in Spanish movies- but Javier Camara is my favorite Spanish actor of all times. No matter how does the movie go , he just acts greatly,,, he lives the character to the limits and thats what really matters.

Second Error ,,, Third time has a Charm

Again, they get to hit people just because they are stating a thought or a point of view. I cant believe that people from my own people are hitting other people from my own people , becuase those are in favor of our people in Palestine.

It just does not make sense , but anyway ,,, seeing all those young crossing the borders to get their Palestine ,,, the Palestine that belongs to each free and respectful person , this is just huge and it fills me with pride.

Enshall next years are gonna be different and Enshalla I will live to the day in which I take part in a huge thing that leads me to pray ,me and my kids in a free Aqsa Mosuqe ,,, En Allah Ala Kol Shi Kadeer ,,, Ya rabb

Manos Arriba Este es un Atraco

Today I participated -if sneaking in between people taking pictures and looking for the best angle is considered participating- ... It was great , people are finally facing the big monster of capitalism ,,, I know these words sound big , but am gonna get back to that topic ,,, economics are the way out and I believe that both systems that have been tried so far Capitalism and communism led the world to the ruins ,,,, Anyway I loved how Spanish young people stood for their rights , it was great

La Festa Dels Campions :)))

This song brings tears to my eyes... It tickles that deep point that only winning after hard work can touch ,,,

I am not the kind of person who would go on jumping up and down three days because of happiness , it just is not me , but when I see people that I adore doing it I just feel happy ,, Satisfied in a way ,,, dont know how to exactly it explain it but yes , I am Satisfied

When Messi first came to Barcelona

I came across this video in YouTube (I have at least one daily hour looking up football stuff from youtube).

It moved me!! For many reasons , first of all because they moved to Barcelona -who else wanna do that? ah meeeee!!- and because they looked like a very simple and loving family , that took one leap of faith towards the future and look where they got!! All of them!!

I love it when his mom says: he gets into the field and everyone yells his name , and people put on his shirt ,,, All mothers love the same things at the end ,,,, ayyyyyyyy how cute is that!

The all time loner who happens to be me

Today I spent a nice evening with a bunch of my friends. We cooked we ate , we talked a lot and watched a play .

But throughout all of that , what I really wanted is a silent corner where I can sit and read.

The Third Liga goes where it belongs ,, now what?!

Barcelona WON The Liga and am the happiest :)

We saw it coming in the last weeks therefor it was not much of a surprise but its a huge feeling ,,, it has been 38 weeks of football and each one of them was great.

Now ...

I called home , just asking how they are and everything and my mom was like ''Oh Congratulations for your Barcelona'' ...

I love my mothers mocking tune, she has always told me that I get so stupid when it comes to football and I get too emotional although they dont know anything about me. Mom also talked about the guys in our neighborhood who went out to the streets honking , screaming and celebrating Barcelona's victory .

She got me thinking: Is it Ok?

Is it Ok for young men of a simple third world country Celebrate the winning of a football team in a far European country?

I thought about it for a while , and I came up with this:

My case is very personal and different. I am a Hispanist. I study Spanish , this is what I do , what I have been doing for the last 4 years and will be doing until for ever. I have lived in Spain , I have been to Barcelona - totally and stupidly in love with the city- and I feel represented by Spain in a way -a way that I cant totally figure out-.

Now the case of all other Arab people who celebrate it. Mmm , I think this has a lot to do with our need to ''win'' . Things like: Why have I always been a fan of the Brazilian team during all the world cups of my childhood? Simple: I wanted to be in a favor of a winning team.

Another deeper motive, some people -and we do exist- love to watch good football , its not about winning as much as its about enjoying the game and living a pure experience of pleasure throughout a football game. A thing that FC Barcelona provides each and everytime.

Now the cultural point: Do they care about us? No they dont.

This entire western culture does not give a damn about others. Not a personal things towards Arabs or something , they just think they are the only ones in the world. Its their thing , and I may say: Why bother wonder about what they think of us? We enjoy their football and thats it, everbody is happy.

Although in Barcelona´s case its different , why? Because the first thing Guardiola did after winning was dedicating the cup to all the fans all over the world. And because this clubs policy is ''Mes que un club'' More than just a club ,,, a message that may contain a political aspect to promote Catalonia as something that is not Spain. A way to reach up to the world. You know what? Each one can get his part of the cake as long as he/she works hard enough to get it.

Love and Peace

Queca , Carles Puyols sheep!

Crackovia is a show I watch for two reasons: Because I cant stop thinking about football and to eases my sport pains. Second because it helps me work on my Ctalan language.

I know am gonna read this after a while and I am gonna be like: What Catalan!! i never learned that ,, but yes , those days am trying - not my hardest but am trying- to listen and read Catalan in order to speak it some time soon.

At the beginning I had to do a lot of guessing , but with time I am solving the pattern by which Catalan differs from Castilian ... It just gives me great pleasure each time I finish a video and feel like I understood a great part of it.

So in an episode of Crackovia Carlos Puyol was trying to sleep but he was receiving continuous phone calls from Pep Guardiola making sure that he is sleeping and having some rest and not out there partying or staying up late. So Guardiola suggests that he counts sheep and so an actual sheep appears in the room and they call her Queca.

Afterwards Queca turns into a fixed character in the show , that Puyol said in an interview that fans ask him about her while he signs them autographs.

That got me thinking: How can people really go and talk to their celebrities if they get to see them in person? I would not!

I know its weird, but this is how I think it is for me. I really would not have anything on my mind to say and it would be awkward and then I will remember it each time I see that celebrity ever again ... Is not just nice that a Tv show has given Puyol a very human aspect and gave him a TOPIC to take care of when he meets people who love him , but dont exactly know him?

Madrid is on Fire .... I love this song!!!!!

I love this song ,,, I LOVE ITTTTTTT ,, everytime I listen to it I feel adrenaline everywhere in my body , I wish I can be in a football stadium cheering my favorite team , and enjoying the bickering between Real Madrid and my dear dear Barcelona.

But also , I must add , that I hate being a part of this ,,,, The things about Barcelona-Real Madrid issue has always been political and racist , and as long as am not Spanish it is none of my business

Becker Goes in a Gay Cruise :)

I just cant stop laughing ...
I wonder how Linda's lines were written ,, who could actually ''write this down'' she is just amazing when she said: We should totally go on one of these cruises , they are very desperate men who cant get a woman so they have to dance with each other.
Then her friend says something and she says: Please say you mean Happy...
Hilariousssssssssssssssssssssss

Malaga: Once more for the sake of the good old days.

Today I went to Malaga , maybe this would be my sixth time there. But the last time was six months ago ... i just love Malaga , not as a place to stay but an almost perfect place to run away to when I feel like running away.

I am almost familiar to the city ,,, familiar to the level that I can be in streets that I see for the first time, feel the enthusiasm and the challenge to find my way but I cant feel totally lost or disorientated.

We had nothing planned ,, we were just fine with doing anything that looks fun as long as I can be in a bar at 7 o'clock to watch Barcelona's game with Espanyol.

We got to enter the Cathedral for free ,,, It was Sunday and and there was a huge mass in the Cathedral because they were celebrating the day of groups of young Christian , followers of all churches around Spain -or Andalucia, cant remember- ... The Cathedral was full with young people who looked so happy singing along with the hymns .. I loved it, you dont see Spanish young people acting so devoted everyday ...
I loved this picture ,,, this street reminds of an old idea , or more of wish: Some places seem like that dont have nothing to do with Time ,,, they just step out of the big circle , in which everything is rotating ,,, Its a thing I feel for a millisecond , then it evaporates.
I am thinking a lot about Barcelona ,,, those seats are a copy of the seats of Parque Guell of Barcelona ,,, God how much I miss it ,, how much I need it!
I went back to the place where I used to eat with my dear friend Aseel ... I was looking at my mobile each moment to see if she called ,,, I wanted to be sure that she is gonna call but she did not till the end of the day.

We visited Picasso's house , I find a very touching and intimate thing to see an artists actual things ,,, For example , when I visited Lorca´s house I almost had tears in my eyes when I saw his bed and table ,, you know: The place where he used to actually sit and write in order to leave us the heritage he has left us
I cant believe that but I had the greatest time not visiting one but two museums with Picasso's work ... I got the audio guide and it explained about each and every piece ,which made the experience thorough , lasting and informative.



At night I watched the game in the stations bar , had Tapas that I paid for ,, Laughed a lot with the bar tender who kept making me think that I stepped in an invisible wire that effects the Tv Screen ,,,,Barcelona won and I was through the roof as always.
At night I passed infront of the station and had a conversation with a group of Mormon missionaries who were singing hymns in the entrance of the station , I got their book and a brochure about their message.

I loved and respected their hard work and the time and effort they dedicated to their belief , I hope we muslims would do half of what they do ,,, You know , standing proud in a busy Bus/Train station , talking to hurrying people about faith ! Thats just respectful no matter of we agree or disagree with the details of that faith system.

I watched the streets of Malaga stream through the windows of the bus ,,, This might be the last time for me there in a time that might be long ,,, We never know where the roads will take us , but its the jump of faith that makes me feel Ok about saying good-bye to a city of great memories and Enshalla I will find my way back in one of the coming days of my life.

Gracias Malaga ,, Te quiero mucho

I am not a ''widow'' anymore!!

Remember this?

I have been a widow in my facebook account since forever. But those days I just have a huge feeling ,,, I am not in love, but I know it in the depth of my heart that he has not died ,,, my heart tells me its in Barcelona , its gonna happen there and I gotta get there.

I know that they are things that feel so true because we want them too bad. But I also know that some feelings come from beneath all expressible factors ,, its just this , you feel it in your heart and you know its true,, who cares if it is not at the end?

I know that I dont make any sense ,,, but this is the thing: I have not seen anything , nor heard anything but I have a huge feeling that the destiny of another city is preparing something to me ,,, its so clear inside my head that it flourishes inside my soul ...

God i cant believe that I said all that phony stuff!!

Guardila is gay: How to get me to read till the last line

http://revistareplicante.com/columnas/purodrama/pep-guardiola-es-gay/

So when you google Guardiola , the first result that google suggests to you is ''Guardiola Gay''!!!

Its a very interesting article about the great coach , it talks about his style , the way he uses motivating speeches , music , literature and actual training to make his team the best team possible.

The article goes like this: Guardiola is too elegant , he loves to dress well (I would say: he is too well to be true) he does not swear , he does not take part in the testosterone battle thats usually taking place between the football machos and this is why people might tend to describe him as gay.

At the end of the article the writer comes to the conclusion that ''if you wanna call this style ''gay'' then yes Guardiola is gay''.

Now , after all this time here in Spain I lost the horror I used to feel whenever I heard the word gay ,,, its just a simple word that describes a tendency , nothing more nothing less, but still it surprises me how media here uses ''homosexuality'' as a weapon to break somebody.

Why? Is not supposed to be Ok to be gay? What about the mess that happened when Pique was ''convicted'' of being gay? I still dont agree that the matter was not taken more seriously (Pique just told the nice female news reporter: Would you like to come home with me and I will show if I am gay or not?) and the next thing we know , he is not dating any woman , bu he is dating Shakira!!

What were we supposed to think then? Who could help but think that she is just a cover story? and after all who are we -all of us- to be questioning peoples personal lives? What if they were actually gay , do we want football players and technicians to get out of the closet? Will they be able to use the same locker room as the rest of their colleagues?

I dont know what more to say , but that the word ''Gay'' gets any article hugely published and read. And that I consider it violence against men to consider them gay just because they love to dress nicely.

Dia de La Cruz: Something Really Spanish

Today it was El Dia de La Cruz ''Day of the Cross'' in Andalucia. I tried asking some old people about the origins of the celebrations but there was not a very clear one. I think it has something to do with the arrival of spring , because this is when a lot of Andalucian celebrations are concentrated.

My friend and I wandered around the Plazas where people sang , ate and danced Flamenco. It was so festive and happy although the clouds were threatening us with a very good shower heheheh.

Those are the videos I took of many many wonderful dances they performed ,,, Flamenco just gives me goosebumps...

Here when they presented the song that I adore ,, La Reja ,,,, I san along ,, do you ever realize how nice it is to song along?

On the videos I was focusing in one dancer ... he is the tall slim guy in the pictures above... he is magical , his body has a charm and sends clear signals of beauty ,lust , masculinity , power and a huge well to live life and enjoy one sunny Spanish day.

But as the day was over and people went back to their places , as the crosses were taken down and the adornments were put back in the boxes Spain went back to being normal ,,,a normal place , with normal days far far away from that colorful shiny and happy stereo type.