Thursday, June 30, 2011

Dealing with Idiots: Dr House for Example

Look at this video , multiply it by 1000 and you get the stupidity that I witnessed today in my cousin´s funeral.

Dealing with idiots is just tiring , you feel that all the things you learned throughout your entire life , all the effort you made to develop you mind and personality are all no use when being faced with one of those useless creatures ,,, yeah this sounds harsh , but idiots show no mercy when they crush your mind and soul!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

New Banner

I bite my nails along the way ,,, I think while I live in my own personal island

Why does it matter so much?

I have always loved Buenafuente. Not liked nor adored but Loved Buenafuente. I talked about that in a previous post , but as always I make an ass out of myself as I show interest in a celebrity , simply because later on they are gonna stick their tongue to my culture. I never get used to that.

In this video he talks about Muslim countries where the cross in Barcelona's symbol is turned into a line. He says that that's stupid and he laughs a good laugh about it. I dont want to feel offended -I just stopped that long long time ago- but I find the whole topic so ridiculous, Why does it matter so much?

For me that was a topic of discussion for a while with my muslim friends in Spain. I have Barcelona's symbol everywhere: My mobile , E-book , notebook , Bus Bono Card , Laptop , blog and room. My friends were like: but that's a cross , and I was like: so what? Crosses symbolize Christianity which is a celestial religion that we respect , also it used to be a torturing machine and most of all its a work of art!! Crosses are nice so why be so paranoid about it? -Why even notice that there is a cross in the symbol? I did not until a guy draw my attention to it!-.

But now as Buenafuente brings it up I was like: Both parties are ridiculous, those who think we must keep the cross and those who removed it!

If FC Barcelona taught us one thing , then it taught us that football can unite the whole world , so why pick on the differences and fill nice things with negative feelings?

PS: I still love Buenafuente , but I think he would have been better off without this comment.
Love and Peace

Monday, June 27, 2011

Newspaper Mind Notes

I have always had a deep relationship with the newspaper. Maybe I started reading it on a daily basis ever since I learned to read or right , given the fact that my Dad back in that time used to by 4 different newspapers everyday (Rai , Dustoor , Arab elyom , and some papers that disappeared now: Esha3b , el Aswa8 , El7adath ) and all the other weeklies -that disappeared as well after long long fights with the government and some credibility issues heheheh-.

It now comes to my mind that the first paper where I had a column was in a political weekly heheheh (Those things really happened God!!!) .. Anyway , for the last year as I have been in Spain I got a new newspaper related habit, which is reading being totally unemotional about the topics. When I read a Jordanian newspaper I feel for stuff , I get mad for corruption , I sympathize with my own home country (It is not that I dont care about Spain , but its no where next to my Jordan) .

Its really surprising to be back and get on that emotional roller coaster while I only read the paper!! ,,Today those two publications got my attention >>>>

Some father congratulated his wife for their sons success instead of congratulating his own son. I thought its so sweet of him. Men usually tend to say ''My Son'' when the son does something good , and they say to the wives"Your son ... " when the son does something bad.

Sara , said that maybe the wife he is referring to is a step mother.
Mama said this man might be one of those phony extroverts who tend to show off in every aspect of their lives ..... What do you think?
But look at this!! You build a Mosque to Brag about in the newspapers?I dont wanna be judgmental I am just gonna say: what a show off!!! :p

Photographic Thoughts after a day out :p

Today I went to the university just to hang out with Sara. I took those pictures

This is paper stuck on the bus' windshield ,,, It reads: Dont be my friend , but be honest with me.
It just summarizes everything.
This is a picture of my university's administration. This building has International Relationships Office.
Years ago we used to go to that office a lot. I used to take the stairs -because by then I still had the fear of elevators- and go to the 4th floor to ask if the european scholarship has selected the students who are gonna travel to Spain.
We used to go full with hope , we wanted to go together -we needed a miracle for that- and for me I have always had the feeling of impatience longing to take the first plane and leave.

I was totally thinking: ''anywhere but here'' ,,, I wanted to be in Spain , but also wanted to be anywhere possible.

Today I had to deliver my boarding tickets to the office and although I tried , I found no interest in me to go near the stairs. I knew that my heart has changed when I gave the boarding´s to a friend who was going there , and I sat down looking at my university feeling so pleased to be finally:Home.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Its Happening

I never mentioned this here , and I dont know why I am doing it now , but anyway maybe its time to tell some real stuff here.

My cousin , the one with whom I played as a little child and loved purely until I turned six or seven years old is coming back for ever!!!

For the last seven years he used to stay in Jordan for one month only. A month that was my annual emotional roller coaster. Now he is coming back for good.... what was that like?

I feel funny.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

A table , two chairs , a conversation and a true friend

Today I got ''reunited'' with my friend Rasha Rasheed. We bought two cans of Pepsi and sat on the tables placed infront of the main gate of JU and we talked.

And I was totally happy for the first time in months.

Pique: One more thing we had to give up for Israel

I read the news and it just let me down.

Pique visits Israel along with his girlfriend Shakira , and his picture infront of the ''Wailing Wall'' appears on the page of Marca -my favorite sports journal of Spain- .

There was a lot of polemics regarding the matter. People started cursing him on his official page on Facebook , other Israeli fellows praised him and thanked him for the visit and I just sat there.

I m not gonna go like: ''Oh Pique , we now hate you , you are no longer a star in our eyes'' because all of that is bullshit. He simply does not care. Nobody cares about our love and appreciation , so taking this love away is not considered any kind of getting it back at him.

I am just gonna say that he does not know -among other things- what being an Arab or Palestinian or Muslim means. No one actually knows what it means to be a part of a refused nation. We are refused , the whole world sees us as terrorists , oppressed , old fashioned and undeveloped. No matter how hard we try the world just gets around our efforts and goes on with its stereotype.

Its hard to be us. Its tiring to walk in our shoes. Artists insult our nation , politicians also. Every person feels that he or she has the right to have an opinion about us. We have no respect as a nation ,no intimacy and this is why we are talkative , loud and emotional.

We love football , we find consolation in it , we love FC Barcelona . No body in the world loves it as much as we do , but yet , they dont leave us not even that.

We are deprived the right to be passionate about a game , because we send passion to the world and we get back insults. We get back misunderstanding of our simple human rights. Whats is so hard to understand in ''Israel kills our children on daily basis ,dont shake hands with the killers'' what is so hard about that?

Soon the world is gonna go on , people will forget , people always forget , but thanks to the bright actions of our beloved defense (Defense! How Ironic!) Gerard Pique , we are reminded once more that we cant even love, because we are not loved back.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Reverse Culture Shock

Today I came across this article.
Its the type of articles that you read saying inside your head ''me too!!'' all the way along.

God how great to find that someone else has written such a thing. You know then that what you felt is so normal because apparently someone else had the same feelings and went through the same procedure. But most of all , I love those articles because they arrange the mess of ideas that I could not arrange inside my own head.

Its pretty funny you know, because this time I passed through this procedure in less than 24 hours -maybe less- and I went through all stages with the least amount of emotions. Its pretty weird though ,,, why did I get over Spain that easily this time , although I was depressed for whole 3 months the first time?

Is is possible that I was not satisfied there?

The First time I went to Jordan University ever since I came back , I was walking on the sidewalk and I thought to myself: "I am the happiest person on Earth'' , then I though to myself: "It has been so long since I last felt that" .... I used to repeat the phrase to myself , but I knew that I did not feel it.

Here , while I was walking on the ugly sidewalk where I have been a Zillion times before , I felt simply happy.
Maybe this is the thing with my life in Jordan. I do the same things everyday but It feels like the first time ALWAYS!!!!

I Love being back.

A Spanish Short Story

La mujer de mi vida se sentó a mi lado en el autobús una tarde en que yo me quedé en casa.
El Destino - Por Juan Ochoa

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Dragonfly: A weird though nice movie

My mom and I wanted to watch something ''silly''. Something that is not people being murdered in Syria , Yemen or Libya. We got to watch this movie. At the beginning I thought it was some stupid movie where disturbed souls come back and open doors and slam closets , but as I gave it time it started talking about the levels of consciousness that vary between being totally awake to being dead.

The protagonists wife is a red cross doctor volunteering in a very poor and remote zone of Venezuela , where she dies as her bus slides down a cliff and falls into a lake. Her husband keeps receiving signs from her and he gets to believe that in some way she might still be alive and asking him to come find her.

After having conversations with patients in his hospital who came close to death , he takes a trip to Venezuela to visit the place where she allegedly died. Showing the primitive people of the tribe of that area a picture of his wife , they lead him to a tent telling him: We could not save her body but we saved her soul (I was like: OH some bullshit of ''she is always gonna be with you in your heart Bla bla Bla) but as he entered the tent he found a baby girl! His baby girl , that his wife brought to life before she died.

I dont know , its a weird movie , but I loved the sequence of actions , the love and faithfulness he showed to her memory. But most of all I loved a phrase he said : '' What she taught me in death is what she taught me in life. To trust, to have faith. Because as a friend of mine once said, it's belief that gets us there" .

Its Belief that gets us there.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Lets do It ... Lets fall in Love

I first heard that song in the movie ''Midnight in Paris'' ....
It suggests the idea of doing crazy stuff when you are in a foreign country .... Why could not I? Not necessarily falling in love , but doing CRAZY STUFF .... ~sigh~

Changing the Cultural Chip

I am at home. Yohooooooooooooooooooooooo

It feels funnily comfortable!! I expected arriving to Amman totally tired from the trip, but I was fine , not even sleepy. I thought that time change would kill me like it did the first two times that I came back , but it did not. And dont tell me its only one hour of time zone change , sun rises and sits with some big fat differences between Jordan and Spain ,, but alhamdullilah this time I did not feel a thing.

Things were like I expected them ,,, maybe the ''coming back process'' is no more a mystery for me. I know how to ''perform'' the hugs and kisses and how to pick up my things and just get in the car and go home , and what to do at home to feel right.

I dont really know why am I this way , but I dont feel a thing when I see people that I have not seen for a long time, not even my own parents. I dont tell them , it hurts them and they would not understand how it works inside my heart. I realize how much I have missed someone after going back to the usual rhythm that we used to have ,,, I realize the place reserved for him/her in my heart when they say something that they used to say and nobody else has told me ever since. I dont know how to explain that exactly , but yes: my daily hugs are way much warmer than my ''welcome back hugs''.

Besides that things at home are so smooooooth!!! I dont look back at all , and even when I do I just dont miss anything. I now know how is it to be back , I dont expect all the friends whom I have met there are gonna keep in touch so I get no disappointments and I just love being back.

Jordanian coins are big , food smell is great , the bathroom has a water hose and toilet paper is so white!

The first time I came back from Spain I was homesick to Granada and wanted to go back. The second time I came back from Spain I was so homesick to Jordan and did not want to go back to Granada. The third time I came back I feel as Ok in Jordan as I felt in Granada and this is why I feel so balanced and relaxed.

Alhamduliilah for everything.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Last Post from Spain

In less than 40 minutes I will be leaving to the airport to go back home...
I am happy and enthusiastic ,,, Granada hurts -it always will- but now its time to go home , arrange the papers and start a new era of my life.

Allah Ysahhel

Monday, June 13, 2011

Long List of Drafts

I have a long list of drafts ,, a lot of things that I wanted to talk about in the last days , but my heart is running inside its cage! Its only two days and I will be home ,,, this time I am thrilled to the point where time does not move!! I wanna go hommmmmmmmmmmme ,,,, come on

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Saying good bye to Rana

In the sequence of good byes that I am living now , today I said good bye to my dear friend Rana. She is Syrian , am Jordanian , I never know if I can see her in her country or if she can see me in mine. Once before we said good bye here in Granada and I got to come back and we spent a very nice year together.

Now I dont know , when or how we are going to meet again , but it was amazing to have such a friend ... it was giving and fulfilling ,,, It gave me faith in women -heheheheh- ... I will always think about her nice face as the bus left the bus stop , how she kept looking!! She is strong and deep and gave me a lot to think about ...

Alhamdullilah for all the friends that God give me along the way ,no matter how sometimes we get to say goodbye and sit back to chat on facebook .

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Mar Adentro

Today I rewatched ''Mar Adentro'' Which was the first thing I watched in Spanish 4 years back when I started learning the language.
At that time I read the subtitles and thought that they were speaking Spanish all the time, but as I watched it today I found out that a fine amount of the conversations was in Catalan and Galician too!

There no suitable words for this movie. It goes against my faith and my principles but still I love it like no other. I believe that life is a God given gift and we have no authority upon that , but at the same time I sympathized a lot with Ramon Sampedro who throughout the movie was asking for his right to put an end to 30 years of laying in bed as a result of being paralyzed.

The music , the poetry and the great green meadows of northern Spain are just my favorite place and thought. Listen to the poem above , it was written by Ramon Sampedro himself -I just found out that this is a true story!!!- he was a real great poet and he picked his way and we should respect that.

The movie always manages to stop my breath for a moment and this is why it might be my Favorite!

Friday, June 3, 2011


That was a very interesting reportage I watched on Channel 4 ... About Catholic religious gays.
The guy in the second video receives pension after the death of ''his husband'' ... They they talked about wanting to get married inside their churches!!
I dont know really know what

I dont know how to Party!

Buenafuente is the guy for me! He always says the things that has always been on my mind ,,, in this video for example he talks about the reluctance a person gets into when he/she wants to celebrate.
How do we celebrate? I dont know how to do that ,,, I can be so happy inside but outside I would just look normal.

This time I am only posting one post of Buenafuente , but if it was for me I would post all his monologues and comment them,,,, He is my biggest Crush hehehehehe

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Becker is Over :(

I am gonna miss you all! ... Offt I hate good byes ,,, they can never get to tell something that I have not heard before , I saw the entire show ,,,, effffffffffffffffffffft